I have always lived with someone, whether that be my family or roommates- that is fairly typical because I have only lived 19 years. The change of living alone after almost two decades has been a change that I accepted with open arms after some reluctant thoughts.
My first week out to the wonderful town of Chapel Hill by myself was one that was scary. I had my own kitchen, - for those of you who know me know that cooking isn't my best forte - my own living room, my own patio and my own bedroom. There was so much space and only one of me to fill this space. It was very quiet and I did not know what to do with myself after work. It was my space and I was determined to make it my home. I regard the term home as a feeling rather than a place which is why I sought out to fill my space with pictures of people that make me feel home and decorated the place with things that made it more cozy. The more everything came together, the more I became comfortable and felt home. I absolutely love having my own space now after I adjusted to this new change in my life. Change will always feel a little foreign but when accepted with open arms - it just feels so right.
After work, I come home and light all my candles to create a cozy environment and then proceed to cook some dinner while watching my favorite show on my laptop (currently obsessed with "Girlfriends Guide to Divorce"). After dinner, I will usually catch up on any work left to do and then sit on my patio with a book. I had forgotten how much joy I got from reading and living alone has given me the chance to find things again that I used to once love. I am constantly finding new things that really feel good to me and make me happy. I don't think I would be able to devote this much time to know myself had I not been living alone. I have wonderful friends who come over and bring life to my place and I am so glad I have the space to accommodate them when they do come visit.
It's only late at night when my mind reflects at this chapter in my life and I get these feelings of bitter sweetness. I do get nostalgic about having my favorite people around me all the time but then I realize how important living on my own is for me at this point in my life. These couple years are all about self-discovery and knowing yourself and I am trying my best to do so. I found that I surprisingly enjoy cooking, love reading again and that I am so happy getting cozy on my couch with a blanket and an ice cream jar watching a documentary on Netflix right before bed. I have also never been a morning person but being alone makes me not want to spend so much time in my bed and do something as soon as my eyes flicker open. It is such a foreign feeling but I am so loving it.
If you ever do get the chance to live alone - I suggest you do it! Yes, it is hard and a little bit out of comfort zones but that's what makes it worth it. If good change doesn't challenge you, then it isn't really a change.
