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Thoughts Of An Athlete During The Olympics

The Olympics are awesome, but I kind of hate myself after watching them.

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Thoughts Of An Athlete During The Olympics
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The Olympics are a very special time of the year and it is a great time to root for your country. Lots of patriotism is displayed and the greatest athletes in the world are put to the biggest test ever. The stage is set and it is so fun to witness. However, being a college athlete, it can almost be depressing to watch. These are basically the thoughts of every athlete while watching the Olympics.

"Why am I not there?"

"Where did I go wrong?"

"What was I even doing at 16?"

"Michael Phelps has as many medals and I do years of age."

"Why didn't I work harder when I was 8?"

"She's how old?!?"

"This is depressing."

"Why doesn't my body look like that?"

"Why wasn't I blessed with those genetics?"

"How do I reproduce with one of them to create Olympian?"

"I'm so glad I'm from the U.S."

"She has a kid?"

"Wait...she has three kids?"

"All we do is win."

"I'm never eating again."

"I feel a little more red, white, and blue today."

"Oh well, I could do that."

"I'll go work out now."

"I should be their coach."

"I should've picked a different sport."

"If I had started training fresh out of the womb, I could do that too."

"Thanks mom and dad."

"Is that person even human?"

"Wait...that's a country?"

"I have honestly never heard of that place."

"Is that a man or a woman?"

"Wow, look at her shoulders!"

"How do you get that good?"

"Do they get paid for this?"

"Whoa."

"USA, USA, USA."

"Wonder what the after party is like?"

"I think I could marry her?"

"I'm in love."

"I'll just sit here and eat my cake."

"Yeah, she can't be from America."

"Do I look fat?"

"Goals AF!"

"Can I be her?"

"Where can I order that shirt?"

"I wonder how tall her parents are."

"Do they all just hook up with each other after this?"

"She's got big boobs for an athlete."

"Look at those sunglasses!"

"Yeah, I tried working out once."

"That arena wasn't just there was it?"

"So how long did it take them to build that arena?"

"...And they just tear it down after this?"

"That's another gold for the USA."

"Stars and stripes forever."

"How did they get to the Olympics?"

"If I lived there, I'd be an Olympian too."

"What are they wearing?"

"Michael effing Phelps."


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