It wasn’t until I moved to Maine for college that I learned not everyone drives like Massachusetts residents. Living in Massachusetts my whole life, and traveling to New York on many occasions to see family, I’ve grown accustomed to certain ways of driving and reacting to others. It wasn’t until I come north that I realized not everyone drives like us in Massachusetts. Here are some things that every Masshole has while driving anywhere except Massachusetts.
- Why are you going so slow?
- The speed limit is 35 so you should be going at least 40 if not faster.
- Why did you stop at the stop sign? It’s called a rolling stop.
- Oh s**t, was that a cop?
- Nope, just a car parked on the side of the road.
- Nope, it was definitely a cop. Do I have my seatbelt on?
- I’m thirsty, where’s the closest Dunkin'?
- What do you mean there isn’t a Dunkin' on every street corner?
- Now how am I going to get my coffee?
- What the heck is Tim Hortons?
- I wonder if other cars can hear my music.
- Probably.
- Too bad, I’m not turning it down.
- Use your damn blinker!
- Where’d you learn to drive, Connecticut?
- How does no one know how to merge?
- I was here first, I go first.
- No you cannot merge into my lane.
- Left lane is for passing only.
- If you’re going to go 10 miles under the speed limit then get off the highway.
- Get off my ass!
- WHY ARE YOU BREAKING?
- There’s no one in front of you.
- It’s a green light.
- Oh, he’s from Rhode Island.
- Finally passed you sucker.
- It’s green, GO!
- *Speed limit says 65* *Goes 80+*
- I’m gonna grace everyone with my singing.
- Good thing it’s summer and my windows are down otherwise I’d have no windows left (due to my horrible singing.
- They have the same car as me.
- Let’s race.
- Beat ya!
- Oops, just pissed off an old man.
- I missed my exit and don’t know where I am.
- Time to GPS this.
- Why am I being sent in circles? I missed one exit.
- I’m not late. Everyone else is just early.
