On January 22nd 2017, I Arielle Shayna Moss lost my sex store virginity, with the help of my friend Julie. She was a seasoned sex store explorer, but my parents always had tried to protect me from sex stores (and penises). Yet I always had a deep interest in the world of sex and stores. So Julie drove me to the quaint little sex store in Whitehall, PA. Here are some thoughts from my experience while I was sucking some sexual knowledge inside my cerebellum.
We entered the store of sex and the lone employe warmly greeted us and asked us to pull out our IDs. Here's me thinking, "what was I doing here. I look like a prepubescent. I shouldn't be here." I got my acceptance because my birthday was in January before Julie, because since her birthday was in June, the lady had to do the math, before allowing her inside. The lady offered to open the toys if we desired. I was standing looking at Julie, trying not to laugh, and I whispered, "I am too much of a virgin for this." Julie shook her head and said, "Yeah I know."
We made our way down the room towards a wall of fun novelty favors for bachelor and bachelorette parties. You know the kind: signs shaped like penises, penis-shaped shot glasses, penis-shaped pasta and candy, boob shaped pasta, gummies, and some vagina straws. I wanted it all, including a HUGE inflatable schlong, that I contemplated adopting as a new roomy for my dorm. I was gonna call him Richard. Sadly I pushed my temptations aside because he looked to big to fit inside.
To my left, I saw a wall of penis shaped products known as dildos, which I had only heard about once before, in seventh grade. I see these things called butt plugs, and as I stand next to Julie scratching my head, I exclaim, "Wait, this goes where?" Julie explained that you stick them up your butt. So yeah, at first I was wondering if she was referring to my butt or hers, but then I realized Julie was talking in general terms, because we have a non-sexual relationship and frankly all I really want is penis. Not necessarily a real one... one of those stress balls, but a penis. A stress-penis. They did not carry them in stock.
We made our way through the back room filled with pornographic DVDs and magazines, and some toys in which I had no idea where the hell they went. Julie explained my confusion was towards this item known as a fleshlight, which Julie taught me it is a type of toy that men use for self-given pleasure. I was like "woah, there are so many things about sex that I do not know." I want to explore more of this sexual part of life that has been kept hidden from me.
Now most readers, of this article, might be wondering if we bought anything from the store, or we just came there in order to fill the hole in my heart, that I had because my parents never gave me the sex talk. Well, Julie did not buy anything. I however did, and no it was nothing that one would use for sexual activities or manipulation. The closest thing to a a stress penis that they sold: a desktop penis. Every day after class, as I complete my school work, I now look at Richard and think of how great a friend that Julie is, for helping me, Arielle Shayna Moss, lose my sex store virginity.
After the sex store, we decided to go to Toys R. Us. And I bought a pink seal Beanie Baby. This toy store is more of my forte. What I had learned from my sex store experience, is that I don't wanna grow up, I wanna be a Toys R. Us kid.
