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15 Thoughts ALL Knoxvillians Have When It Snows, Even Just A Bit

Snow? In the Tennessee Valley?! Well I have never heard of such a thing!

Kmarlowe98

Feb 19, 2019

National Writers Society

166

15 Thoughts ALL Knoxvillians Have When It Snows, Even Just A Bit

Kaitlyn Marlowe

Getting snow in East Tennessee, specifically in the Tennessee Valley, is something that happens about once a year and it is not very welcome. Our snow is slushy and dirty and normally just turns into a solid sheet or black ice on the roads.

While some people love the snow here in Knoxville, most people hate it. Here are 15 things people think when it snows.

1. Three inches of snow is in the forecast?

Let's close every school and university besides UT because who cares in students who walk two miles to class slip and fall.

2. We have to go to the grocery store now! Who knows when we will be able to leave our house!

Milk, eggs and butter are the essentials we need when we cannot leave the house for three hours because of ice on the roads.

3. What are snow tires and do I need them?

I drive a Honda and I honestly do not think they make snow tires for this car so the real question is "Will it snow enough to need them?"

4. Let's go sledding! Oh, wait, I don't even know where to buy a sled.

I think you can buy bright orange sleds at Walmart, but besides that, I wouldn't even know where to get a sled or how to use it!

5. Did the weather channel just say it is going to be 7 degrees outside tonight? I don't own a winter coat!

I honestly do not own more than a heavily lined fleece jacket so I am not equipped to walk around in weather that is well below freezing... and neither is anyone that is a Knoxville native.

6. How many days can I tell my boss my driveway is iced over and I can't come to work?

Sometimes you just have to say there is a sheet of ice on your drive way to get out of work #MentalHealthSnowDay

7. Yay snow! Let's have a snowball fight!!

Our knowledge of snowball fights comes from TV shows and movies, but our snowballs definitely look like chunks of mud covered in snow and no one wants to be hit with that.

8. Should I be letting my dog eat snow? What about my toddler?

Since snow is basically just water it is totally OK to let the dogs and children eat right? I can just ignore the grass clumps in it!

9. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I want summer.

I hate snow.

10. I literally moved to the South to get AWAY from below 40 degrees weather and this awful white powder.

Honestly, I just need it to be sunny and 75 every day forever.

11. Do we even have salt trucks?

I know the news always talks about salting the roads but does the City of Knoxville actually own salt trucks or do we rent them from another county in the mountains??

12. What exactly is the point of putting salt on the road to combat snow?

No one understands how salt is going to melt snow and ice and make the roads clear so I think someone should explain it.

13. Should I be trying to enjoy this because I am not enjoying this?

It is too cold, too wet, and I am too over this weather.

14. I need more coffee.

There is never enough coffee when you are cooped up inside and cold all the time.

15. I cannot afford the heat bill if it decides to blizzard like it did in the 90s.

The one legit blizzard Knoxville has had seems like a horror story and no one can afford to crank their heat up if we actually got a giant snow storm again.

The 5 Phases Of Finals

May the odds be ever in your favor.

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It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

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15 Thoughts ALL Knoxvillians Have When It Snows, Even Just A Bit

Snow? In the Tennessee Valley?! Well I have never heard of such a thing!

1. Three inches of snow is in the forecast?

2. We have to go to the grocery store now! Who knows when we will be able to leave our house!

3. What are snow tires and do I need them?

4. Let's go sledding! Oh, wait, I don't even know where to buy a sled.

5. Did the weather channel just say it is going to be 7 degrees outside tonight? I don't own a winter coat!

6. How many days can I tell my boss my driveway is iced over and I can't come to work?

7. Yay snow! Let's have a snowball fight!!

8. Should I be letting my dog eat snow? What about my toddler?

9. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I want summer.

10. I literally moved to the South to get AWAY from below 40 degrees weather and this awful white powder.

11. Do we even have salt trucks?

12. What exactly is the point of putting salt on the road to combat snow?

13. Should I be trying to enjoy this because I am not enjoying this?

14. I need more coffee.

15. I cannot afford the heat bill if it decides to blizzard like it did in the 90s.

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

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