If I don’t fall asleep immediately, I have often found airplanes to be some of the most satisfying places in the world to think. Every time I board a plane, I am immediately struck by the immense connectivity of the world we currently live in. What an incredible feat it is to become so very far away in just a day’s time. Despite the fact that I fly relatively frequently now, the magic of flight is not lost on me. Without fail, after I fasten my seatbelt and feel my stomach drop as we gain altitude, my mind becomes comfortable in the white-noise quiet that’s produced by the jet engines outside my window. I begin to imagine and question in a way that I rarely find time for when I’m on the ground. Suspended in air and briefly disconnected from the busyness that exists below, my mind feels free—and with that freedom, it wanders to the following topics.
1. Someone should make a movie about my life.
How can you not feel important, adventurous and borderline mythical as you glide through shapely clouds and hover over oceans? You must be the most inspiring person on the most majestic of journeys.
2. If the plane crashes and we all go down, I’m really excited to use my seat cushion as a life-saving floatation device. Won’t that make for a good story?
You can’t look at the safety pamphlet without having this thought. Indeed—what would the movie about your life be without a little intrigue? You’ll survive, no doubt, and it would be pretty epic to use one of those drop-down oxygen masks, too.
3. Brief thoughts of claustrophobia: Holy moly, I will be in this small enclosed space for three hours!
All is fine and good until you look around and realize that THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO. Literally, if you wanted to leave you couldn’t. Worse, if you need to leave, YOU CAN’T! Also, there are a disproportionate amount of human beings to oxygen in this small area. Make sure you establish your elbowroom early on.
4. I wonder if my future husband/wife will sit next to me today.
After you finish freaking out about the lack of space and pondering how inspirational your life is at this moment, you will probably consider the probability of finding your soul mate amongst the clouds.
5. What will the snack be?
Peanuts? Pretzels? 100-calorie pack Cheez-Its? Cookies? COOKIES! How awesome would it be if they served warm cookies?
6. Remember when they used to give you those gold wings when you were little and you flew on United? What happened to that?
The world is really digressing. How is a kid supposed to enjoy one of these flights without those cool wing badges? Sure, I guess there are televisions in the back of the seat now but honestly, NOT AS COOL AS THE WINGS.
7. Where is everyone else going?
As inspiring as your journey is, maybe the person sitting beside you is going somewhere even further away, or coming home from somewhere even more exotic. Is this couple going on vacation or are they abandoning their capitalist lives to go inhabit a tropical island somewhere and live off the land? You can never be too sure.
8. Clouds are so freaking fluffy! I really wish I could just frolic in them, just once!
It’s the dream, it really is. Nothing looks more enticing than face-planting into a large, fluffy, white cloud, especially on sunny days when they distinguish themselves against the backdrop of a bright blue sky.
9. Why is everything square when I look down? Aren’t there some roads that are curvy? HOW DOES THIS WORK?
Inevitably, when you get close enough to the ground everything looks oddly square. It doesn’t make sense when you really start to think about it. Roads are curving all the time —so why does it look like this from up above?
10. The fasten seatbelt sign is irrelevant.
You will get up when you good and well please. Try to stop me, you think to yourself as the flight attendants roll by with their wheelie cart of mediocre beverage choices.
11. Where is the SkyMall? How do they get all that cool stuff up there? Can we stop there so I can buy my brother a Christmas present?
If you’ve ever flown in your youth, you undoubtedly had this thought when you opened the SkyMall magazine for the first time. THERE IS A MALL IN THE SKY! That is incredible. Did you know that, Mom? Have you ever been there?!
12. I am so lucky! What a time it is to be alive! I can’t wait to be where I’m going.
Whether you are going home, going somewhere you’ve never been or returning to the people who mean the most to you, flights are magical because they are what let us be where we most desire to be or where we feel we must be. Flights are incredible because they give us agency over our location, making space and distance seem much less intimidating and possibilities seem endless.
