32 Thoughts/Actions All Hungover College Girls Have And Do | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

32 Thoughts And Actions EVERY Hungover College Girl Has And Does The Morning After

"What time is it? Where's my phone? How the heck did I get home?"

400
32 Thoughts And Actions EVERY Hungover College Girl Has And Does The Morning After

In This Article:

So, you went out last night and you had one too many drinks.

Sure, you promised yourself and your friends that you were only going to have "like two drinks" because you "have to be up early the next day."

That ~may~ have been your intention but you got to the party and there were free juice and beer, you started playing stack cup (a game you're REALLY not great at) which led to flip cup (also not your strongest suit), and you saw your ex from Sigma Apple Pi with his new girl and against your better judgment, instead of leaving the situation, your already intoxicated self decided to down two extra shots "for liquid courage" to go and confront that little playboy. Right as you tap him on the shoulder, you black out.

The next thing you know, it's morning. And now you're hungover.

But don't feel bad! We've all had those mornings. The morning where you might have a few of the following thoughts...

1. "Ugh, who turned on the sun?"

2. "What time is it? Where's my phone? How the heck did I get home?"

3. *Tries to get up*

"Whoa, nope there's a 10-pound brick in my head."

4. *Phone is on 4%* *groans*

5. *Opens phone to find 13 missed calls, 29 text messages, and 18 unopened Snapchats*

"Oh. No. No, no, no, no who did I talk to? Did I talk to my ex???"

6. *Sees full but illiterate conversation with four different people including your ex* "NOOOOOOO!"

7. "Why is my Snap story literally 5 minutes long? Who's that in it? Am I wall twerking???"

8. *Starts deleting snap story*

9. "OK. On the count of three, get up... one, two, two and a half, three."

10. *Finally gets up and immediately gets nauseous*

"That was a mistake"

11. *Runs to the bathroom*

12. *Throws up in the toilet for a solid nine heaves while head is still pounding*

13. *Looks in the mirror to see last nights makeup smudged all over your face and your once-cute outfit covered in blood stains, mud, and dried alcohol*

14. "I'm a garbage person."

15. *Stumbles to the kitchen for water and Advil*

16. Roommate who has her life together: "Oh good, you're alive."

Well, kind of.

17. *Grumble something about never drinking again as you down the pills and about eight glasses of water*

18. You to everyone you went out with: "What the heck happened last night?"

19. *Gets 14 different versions of what you did last night*

20. *Tries to piece together how the rest of the night went*

21. "I booty called WHO???"

Mistakes were made.

22. "I gotta drop out of school now."

23. *Dry heaves another four times*

24. "God, why me?"

25. *Cancel any and all plans for the rest of the day in order to recover*

26. *Takes another Advil*

27. *Hangover shower*

28. "I'm never drinking again."

Roommates: "You say that every time you get drunk."

29. *Searches for munchies but only have healthy food*

30. *Goes to McDonald's or your local bagel shop and orders enough food to feed three people*

31. *Eats every single bite*

32. *Does the same exact thing the next weekend*

Report this Content
Student Life

7 Things College Has Taught Me

Other than knowledge and all those important things

335
7 Things College Has Taught Me
We Know Memes

So, college is the place where you're supposed to learn all of these amazing life skills.

Here are the top seven skills I have learned thus far.

Keep Reading...Show less
college

College is some of the greatest years of anyone's life. Its a time to be outrageous, different and free; a time to do everything you were afraid to do. Here are 38 things you will learn during your four (maybe, five or six) years in college!

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

6 Unrealistic Expectations Society Has For Young Adults

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

3001
boy in adult clothes

Well over four feet tall and 100 pounds in weight, many of us "young adults" of the world still consider ourselves children. Big, working, college-attending, beer-drinking children. We may live on our own, know how to cook noodles, and occasionally use a planner, but don't be fooled; the youthful tendencies that reside within us still make their way into our daily lives. From choosing to stay up until 3:00 a.m. playing video games on a school night to going out in 30 degree weather without a coat, we still make decisions that our parents and grandparents would shake their heads at in disappointment. So why are we expected to know exactly how to be a wise, professional, sensible adult? It's not that we're irresponsible (for the most part, anyway). It's that we are young, inexperienced, and still have the sought-after, enthusiastic mentality that we can do and be whatever we want, which has not yet been tarnished by the reality of the world. These are just a few of the unrealistic expectations that society has for young adults.

Keep Reading...Show less
pizza
Fandango

There are a lot of foods in this world, but there is only one dish that stands above the rest: Pizza. If you're close to me or at least know who I am, then you know that I'm totally obsessed with pizza. It's one of my favorite things to eat and I will NEVER turn down a slice, even if it doesn't have my favorite toppings. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not thinking about pizza. I even sleep with a pizza pillow every night! There are many reasons why pizza stands above all other foods, and here are just a couple reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
sex and the city
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments