Finals are fast approaching which means that everybody is simultaneously studying, cramming, and dying all at the same time in the same 1 week. When I study, there are only 2 possible outcomes: 1) I study and ace my exams, and 2) my brain instead uses all of its energy to think of the most irrelevant things that will never be of any use to any aspect of my life; there is no in-between. Most of the time, the latter is what happens, and they almost always sound as random as these:

1. Vending machines should have a 'Random' button for people who can't decide what to pick.

2. Prayer beads are basically the first fidget toy.

3. The Big Bang Theory with the laughing track removed is just four people making fun of an autistic person.

4. If we think in terms of language, how do people born deaf think?

5. The phrase “needless to say” is as inherently paradoxical as "President Trump."

6. Why is the alphabet in the order it’s in? Is it just completely arbitrary?

7. In the case that we were to incite World War III, our generation’s Anne Frank would probably be a podcaster with fancy advertisements you hear on STown.

8. Though the universe has a finite amount of matter, Olive Garden offers unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.

9. If you were the last person on Earth, you would be average at everything.

10. I get that it’s nearly impossible to believe the there is no life outside of earth, but I sill still be really upset if the aliens found our planet and named it something dumb like ‘Naked Palette 3.'