*Disclaimer: These are real thoughts that have been in my head the past two weeks. I cannot be held accountable for their general attitude of negativity and despair.

8. Why did I choose this?

I had a choice. I could do (almost) anything with my life. I could’ve gotten a job! Been an adult! DONE ANYTHING! But here I am. A glutton for punishment. I chose to spend my days reading, theorizing, researching, writing, and grading papers for the next two years. Why six-months-ago-Ariana, WHY?! Reminder: You made the right choice. You can do this.

7. Are there enough hours in the day?

I’m concerned. When do I have time to shower? When do I have time to do anything fun ever again? What about those book reviews and research papers due in a few months? How will I ever find time to work on those? Goodbye all social activities. See you in two years!

6. Am I even interested in this?

I have my B.A. in Communication Studies, and that was interesting – I loved it. Why is this so different? Every week seems to be a new topic in class. That could be good, right? Or should I be pursuing a different degree? What if I’m not in the right program?! Will my mind ever be at peace?!

5. Did I have too high of expectations?

I expected to really get my shit together for grad school. Surprise! I’m still the same me. Shit everywhere. I have no organization skills, no time management, and no idea what I’m doing with my life. Grad school didn’t fix that; it just brought it to the surface even more. Hi, I’m Ariana and I have no idea what I’m doing here. Nice to meet you and go frogs!

4. Am I smart enough for this?

Okay, why did they let me in? Why are they paying me for this? I’m not even a competent communicator! Do I have the brainpower to read and absorb this much? I don’t even like to research. I don’t even like theory. How is my brain going to do this?! I’ve never had to consciously think this much in my life…

3. What’s expected of me?

I can’t call my professors by their first names! This is weird. How do I study for a test for graduate school? Is it the same as undergrad? What’s a thesis? How much of this reading do I need to remember? Honestly, help.

2. Do I really need a Masters degree?

Is this really necessary? Will this help me enough in my future to be worth it? I can only do this if it’s necessary for my future. Someone tell me this is worth it. They say a master’s degree is the new bachelors degree. I just want a job, America!!!!

1. Is TCU the right school for me?

Just kidding, not even a question. GO FROGS.