Everyone keeps telling me that I need to grow up. Be more responsible and act like a boring adult.

Quit drinking, quit going to parties, quit acting like an unreliable child, that's what they would say. But their thoughts don't bother me. They just roll right off my shoulder like a raindrop in a storm. I don't need to move on. I don't need to grow up. I have everything I could ever want right here, right now.

Adults don't know anything. Yeah, sure, maybe they know things about paying the bills on time and handling their responsibilities. But when it comes to being happy, they don't know crap. Especially my mom— she's like the least fun person I know. Other than my gold-digging older sister, who's married to some boring, rich guy. They have a cute little farmhouse in the middle of nowhere with a nice big porch surrounding the entire damn thing. That's exactly what I don't want. A total domestic situation like that… it's like you're wishing your whole life away.

My mom always compares me to my father. Can't be tied down by anything. Living every night like it's my last; now that's a way to live. And he did… so much so that it drove him out of the house. I remember him being the greatest father a son could ask for when I was a kid. We used to camp out, play pranks on strangers, all kinds of crazy stuff. I tell everyone now that he's some kind of important businessman that works in one of the tallest buildings in the city. But in reality, I don't really know where he is or what he's doing now. I used to blame Mom for the falling out between them, but he was a lost cause and most likely still is.

Everyone keeps telling me I need to stop being the life of the party. That I should be living a normal and ordinary life like everyone else.

But people love the guy that brings the party to life, and that guy is me. It's simple and life's beautiful as it is now. And what's wrong with that? I don't understand why everyone is so worried that there's something wrong with me. Yeah, maybe my grades aren't the best and I sometimes show up to work buzzed off of the "water" in my handy-dandy 7UP cup. But I have it all under control.

I'm not an alcoholic.

I'm not an alcoholic.

I am not an alcoholic, but my dad is. And contrary to what my mom says, I am not my father. I'm fine, I can control it. It's all just a part of the "living in the moment" mentality that I have. The partying, the drinking, everything. I can stop whenever, I swear.

Everyone keeps telling me I have so much potential. But apparently, I'm wasting it.

My geometry teacher asks me what I want to do with the rest of my life. My boss offers me a permanent position at the tie store. And you, Aimee Finicky…you have our whole future planned out: a college in Philadelphia, a job at the local bookstore, renting a bunk from your sister. Maybe get married after school and have a couple kids in the suburbs: a total domestic life.

You keep telling me that I have potential. That we have potential. When really, it's all you. Aimee, you are the girl that definitely could've pulled me out my neutral state of uncertainty. But I'm a lost cause. I don't want to be, yet I am. I drink at all times during the day, I haven't even applied for college, and I barely graduated high school at all. And I can't be the one that drags you down into dark and drunken bliss. You're meant to go off and do amazing things. But me? I'm meant to stay here and work at my dead-end job, be a better son to my mom, and work out all of the stuff that's not right in my head.

I am an alcoholic, and I need to set the ones I love free.

…

So, I've always loved to write about drama and writing a dramatic monologue about being stuck in this "live in the moment mentality" seemed like the perfect way to go. I hope you liked it :)