1. You've known your parents your whole life, but they've only known you for part of theirs.

2. What if the word "female" was pronounced like the word "tamale"?

3. If an earthquake happened on a different planet, is it still really considered an earthquake?

4. If you kill your clone, is that murder or suicide?

5. Are oranges called oranges because they are the color orange....or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

6. It's weird. We cook bacon and bake cookies.

7. I wonder what my dog thinks my name is.

8. When you have to clean out the vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?

9. If Cinderella's shoe fit her perfectly, then how did it fall off in the first place?

10. What if the air we breathe is actually poison and it just takes a really long time to kill us.

11. If two people blink at exactly the same time without the other noticing, a staring contest could last forever.

12. You've never actually seen your face before. You've only seen pictures and reflections.

13. You are not stuck in traffic, you are the traffic.

14. Disney World is a basically human trap made by a mouse.

15. Brushing your teeth is the only way you can clean your skeleton.

16. Toasters are essentially tanning beds for bread. Think about it.

17. When you say "forward", your lips move forward and when you say "back" they move back.

18. There's no reason for the alphabet to be in order.

19. Have I ever drank milk from the same cow more than once?

20. Nightstands must be really tired from never getting to sit down.

21. Do you think lobsters are like mermaids for scorpions?

22. A bed is just a shelf for your body whenever you're not using it.

23. There's probably several people named Jake that work for State Farm that are so over all the jokes.

24. Onion rings are just vegetable donuts.

25. Is the person who proofread Hitler's speeches considered a grammar Nazi?

26. Think about it, the first teacher ever never went to school.

27. If your hand was 12 inches long, it would be a foot.

28. If you set your WiFi password to 2444666668888888, you can tell people that it’s 12345678.

29. Reading a book under a tree is peaceful.... but can you imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see it’s dead friends in our hands?

30. My dog understands several human words that I say, but I don’t understand any dog barks. My dog might be smarter than me.

31. The first person to have twins was probably really confused.

32. No one has ever been in an empty room.

33. Snoop Dogg has probably been stoned longer than I've even been alive.