There aren't many things worse than waking up next to someone you either don't really know or shouldn't be next to in the first place. But hey, sh*t happens. (Welcome Week, am I right?)
If you're like me, then you're always the one who wakes up first. And I mean ALWAYS, which means you're probably a pro at navigating morning-after's or slipping out of bed without him noticing. If not, the year is fresh! There's plenty of time to learn.
Here are 23 morning-after thoughts you've probably had or will have if last night's hookup is still sleeping.
1. Where am I?
2. OMG, it's only 7 a.m.??? Why am I awake?
3. Wait, who is THAT?
4. Oh jeez. Please be cute.
5. OK, he really needs to turn over so I can see if he's cute!
6. Ugh, when is he gonna wake up?
7. Should I go back to sleep?
8. Should I shower? Is that weird?
9. Damn, I really need to pee...
10. Does my breath smell? Ew, yes. Does he have gum?
11. My makeup probably looks like sh*t.
12. Hmm.. Maybe I should shower.
13. Wow, I REALLY need to pee.
14. Maybe I can slip out without him noticing.
15. Wait, I'm literally on a sliver of the bed. Why do boys take up so much space?
16. OK seriously, wake up or move over.
17. Maybe if he wakes up soon, he'll take me to breakfast.
18. OK. WAKE! UP!
19. He's probably a heavy sleeper. Guys are heavy sleepers, right? I can totally slip out.
20. Abort! Abort! He's moving.
21. Should I pretend I was asleep this whole time?
22. Ugh, false alarm. AND I STILL NEED TO PEE.
23. WAKE THE F*CK U— Oh, hi! Good morning. Sleep well?