ABC's "Bachelor in Paradise" is a show that puts former Bachelor/Bachelorette cast members on a beach in Mexico, where they get to know each other and (hopefully) fall in love. Season 5 premiered on Tuesday, August 7.
1. "Wells is the greatest cast member to ever be on this show."
Wells is 1000% the funniest, most genuine, and all around awesome person to ever be on this show, or any of its affiliates. #TeamWells all the way.
2. "Kendall just gets weirder and weirder..."
During Arie's season, she was all about taxidermy. Now, in Paradise, she's talking about how much she enjoys picnics in cemeteries. Kendall.... Good luck, sister.
3. "Angela?! Who is Angela?"
Angela was apparently on Nick Viall's season of 'The Bachelor,' but if you are anything like me, you had no idea who she was.
4. "I want to go to the beach!"
Beautiful people in a beautiful place. They weren't kidding when they said it was Bachelor in PARADISE.
5. "The Colton/Tia drama is overplayed...but I love it."
Tia and Colton's former relationship and potential future relationship was a HUGE topic on the season premiere. While this was slightly annoying, I'm also completely here for it. I'm a hardcore #Tolton supporter.
6. "For some reason I don't understand, I LOVE Jordan."
Oh, Jordan. Whenever he opens his mouth, there is a 100% chance that I am going to laugh. He may be the most self-obsessed person in the universe, but he sure is entertaining.
7. "Nick is so dumb..."
Every time he opens his mouth, I am confused, and that's all there is to it.
8. "I wonder how much alcohol they go through a day...?"
I think it's in their contract that they have to drink only alcohol throughout the duration of their time on the beach. Wake up in the middle of the night? Vodka. Breakfast? Vodka. Lunch? Vodka. Just thirsty? VODKA.
9. "Why can't I be as laid back as Grocery Store Joe?"
Joe is the most chill, easy-going dude on this island, and maybe on this whole planet.
10. "Wills lives his life like it's a runway."
Every outfit he wears, he slays.
11. "I would never go on this show."
The drama, the tears, the fights, the embarrassment on national television.....you can count me out. But I will gladly watch every single episode.
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