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11 Thoughts You Had During The 'Bachelor In Paradise' Premiere

I never want to be on this show.

Kayla Blain

Aug 13, 2018

Texas A&M University

11 Thoughts You Had During The 'Bachelor In Paradise' Premiere

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ABC's "Bachelor in Paradise" is a show that puts former Bachelor/Bachelorette cast members on a beach in Mexico, where they get to know each other and (hopefully) fall in love. Season 5 premiered on Tuesday, August 7.

1. "Wells is the greatest cast member to ever be on this show."

Bachelor in Paradise season 4 bachelor in paradise bip wells GIF

Wells is 1000% the funniest, most genuine, and all around awesome person to ever be on this show, or any of its affiliates. #TeamWells all the way.

2. "Kendall just gets weirder and weirder..."

During Arie's season, she was all about taxidermy. Now, in Paradise, she's talking about how much she enjoys picnics in cemeteries. Kendall.... Good luck, sister.

3. "Angela?! Who is Angela?"

Angela was apparently on Nick Viall's season of 'The Bachelor,' but if you are anything like me, you had no idea who she was.

4. "I want to go to the beach!"

Beautiful people in a beautiful place. They weren't kidding when they said it was Bachelor in PARADISE.

5. "The Colton/Tia drama is overplayed...but I love it."

Tia and Colton's former relationship and potential future relationship was a HUGE topic on the season premiere. While this was slightly annoying, I'm also completely here for it. I'm a hardcore #Tolton supporter.

6. "For some reason I don't understand, I LOVE Jordan."

Oh, Jordan. Whenever he opens his mouth, there is a 100% chance that I am going to laugh. He may be the most self-obsessed person in the universe, but he sure is entertaining.

7. "Nick is so dumb..."

Every time he opens his mouth, I am confused, and that's all there is to it.

8. "I wonder how much alcohol they go through a day...?"

I think it's in their contract that they have to drink only alcohol throughout the duration of their time on the beach. Wake up in the middle of the night? Vodka. Breakfast? Vodka. Lunch? Vodka. Just thirsty? VODKA.

9. "Why can't I be as laid back as Grocery Store Joe?"

Relaxed Chill GIF by Jason Clarke

Joe is the most chill, easy-going dude on this island, and maybe on this whole planet.

10. "Wills lives his life like it's a runway."

Every outfit he wears, he slays.

11. "I would never go on this show."

The drama, the tears, the fights, the embarrassment on national television.....you can count me out. But I will gladly watch every single episode.

Share this with your 'Bachelor in Paradise' watching buddy!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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11 Thoughts You Had During The 'Bachelor In Paradise' Premiere

I never want to be on this show.

1. "Wells is the greatest cast member to ever be on this show."

2. "Kendall just gets weirder and weirder..."

3. "Angela?! Who is Angela?"

4. "I want to go to the beach!"

5. "The Colton/Tia drama is overplayed...but I love it."

6. "For some reason I don't understand, I LOVE Jordan."

7. "Nick is so dumb..."

8. "I wonder how much alcohol they go through a day...?"

9. "Why can't I be as laid back as Grocery Store Joe?"

10. "Wills lives his life like it's a runway."

11. "I would never go on this show."

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2. Playing Christmas music all day long.

3. Christmas movie marathons.

4. Getting offended when someone hates Christmas.

5. Drinking holiday themed drinks.

6. Buying ugly Christmas sweaters.

7. Using every chance to talk about Christmas.

8. Baking Christmas cookies.

Don't waste your time trying to write that paper when there are so many more interesting things you could be doing.

1. Meditate

2. Groom yourself

3. Eat lots of chocolate

4. Go for a walk

5. Netflix and chill

Who could be a better friend than your own sister?

1. She's your number one fan…and you're her's.

2. It feels like you guys can communicate telepathically at times with just a look.

3. Fights last for about two minutes because you find something funny and have to show them.

4. Concerts in your car are a regular thing.

5. You have an innumerable amount of inside jokes that are always funny.

6. When she gets clothes it's like you're getting new clothes too.

7. She's seen you at your worst and doesn't judge you…but has taken pictures to remind you.

8. She always knows just what to say to cheer you up…or what food (or drink) to make you if words aren't working.

9. She's the first person to jump to your defense.

10. You have a permanent best friend.

You're gonna make it after all.

1. Google is your best friend.

2. Don't be afraid to say no!

3. Justify your actions/purchases.

4. Call mom.

5. Remember to do things that make you happy.

I'll be the first one to admit I'm addicted to Starbucks.

1. You have a Gold Card

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3. You mobile order is saved and ready to order with the push of a button

4. The baristas know you by name

5. You can’t get through the day without at least one Starbucks

6. The amount of caffeine that you can consume in a day scares most people

7. Most people around you question why you go to Starbucks everyday

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