My first semester of college was a lot different from my friends' first semesters. Not only was I eight hours away from home in the-middle-of-nowhere Tennessee, I had also just started my first collegiate soccer season. The first few weeks of school were some of the hardest days and nights of my life. I'm an only child, so being away from my parents and from all of my friends was really challenging. As the days carried on, my friends were posting pictures of themselves tailgating and going to frat houses. However, I was practicing four days per week with two games. Plus, I had weights every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We traveled to away games that were between an hour to six hours away and I had classes every day, plus the extra hours of studying. My schedule was a challenging one and it did not help my case of homesickness.
My parents knew that I was going through a hard time and so did all of my family and their friends. I got heaps and masses of care packages, but they were just not enough to make me happy. I sat in my room, slept, and didn't really socialize with many people. I wanted to leave and I'm sure that everyone could tell.
Finally, my jealousy overthrew me enough to decide that I needed to do something about it. I applied to three schools back in Michigan. These schools were large! They had everything that LMU didn't: a football team, a Chipotle, and over 1,500 people. However, what it didn't have were soccer and a family atmosphere. I soon figured out that.
I told my parents that I applied and my mom was thrilled. If she could, she would've had me home that first week when I felt homesick. However, my dad, on the other hand, was not too keen on the whole idea. He thought that I needed to stay at least a whole year at LMU before I transferred out. He was so right.
My life at LMU started to change around October. My boyfriend at home and myself broke up, which allowed me to put myself out there more. I started to hang out with other players on the team and I found myself getting more involved. I remember, clear as day, the day when I decided that this place really wasn't so bad. I was on my way back from a volleyball game. The music was blasting (to Beyoncé of course) and I was in a car full of people on our way back to the village. I had a huge smile on my face and I was having such a good time. At that moment, I realized that I did have friends here and if I just put myself out there, then I might just enjoy myself.
Another idea that changed my mind was the thought of quitting soccer. I had been playing for 14 years. It wasn't just a sport to me, it was my life. In all honesty, it was my dad who put things into perspective for me. He wrote me an email (I know, that's so last century), but he put so much love and thought into it. He reiterated the idea that I really shouldn't leave during my first semester and that this decision should come after a full year of school. However, what really hit me was his last paragraph. He wrote, "Also just a reminder if you need one, that quitting college this time, and in turn soccer, will be a permanent quit. Many things we put off can’t be redone. There are many paths to success and many different ways to get them done but this one would not be able to be restarted. Remember when you hang up your cleats, this time, it would never be the same and you need to be absolutely sure of what you decide." I remember that I just started bawling. Every time I read that, I still tear up.
I am so thankful that I stayed these past three years. I was able to compete in a SAC Conference final, start a soccer game, meet an amazing man, meet so many amazing friends, and, most of all, become a part of this amazing LMU community. I'm a firm believer in "if it's meant to be, then it'll happen." That is true for me. I stayed and everything just seemed to fall into place. I mean, there were a few bumps in the road, but I would never change anything about these past three years. Plus, while my friends were partying and going to football games. I was part of the 1.8 percent that made it into division two soccer.
