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Thoughts I Have Whilst Building IKEA Furniture

You don't know stress until you've gone head-to-head with an IKEA instruction manual. Screw you, MICKE desk.

Sarah Habbas

Aug 10, 2015

Santa Clara University

610

Thoughts I Have Whilst Building IKEA Furniture

So last week, I shared with you all the thoughts I believe many of us have when we enter the fortress that is IKEA. But what happens when that madness is brought into your actual home? Below you will find an itemized list of thoughts I had during my slow demise into pure and total insanity.

1. I'm ready to face the world, let's do this.

2. I mean it's only a desk…how bad could it possibly be?

3. Besides, the last time I built IKEA furniture it only took me half an hour.

4. I'm pretty sure people are just exaggerating about how difficult it is.

5. Ok, the box is open – now the real fun begins.

6. Jesus Christ, why are there so many pieces? It's literally just a desk.

7. I really don't think it's possible for this instruction manual to be any more unhelpful than it is.

8. Like, I'm sorry, but this looks like a poorly illustrated children's picture book.

9. The people at IKEA headquarters probably did this as some sick joke. "Lol let's just f**k with the public, this'll be fun".

10. Awesome. I just spent 10 minutes trying to hammer the WRONG screw into this piece of wood. That's valuable time I could've spent watching Netflix, god dammit.

11. This all could've been avoided if they, oh I dunno, MORE CLEARLY LABELLED THINGS.

12. I'm not bitter.

13. Jk, I'm a little bitter.

14. If I'm being completely honest, I have minimal faith in my capabilities to complete this task at this point.

15.There are holes for screws on both sides of this plank of wood and I have no idea which side I'm supposed to put the screws in.

16. Wtf, IKEA.

17. But actually though, if you want to test the strength of your relationship with your significant other, you should build IKEA furniture together.

18. If you can both stand to be around each other after that…congratulations, your bond is strong af. Kudos to you. #relationshipgoals

19. Oh, awesome. There are missing screws. Just what I needed on the brink of my emotional breakdown. Thanks, IKEA.

20. "And what brings you into therapy today, Sarah?" "IKEA f***ed me up".

21. Like, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I needed to be a freaking engineer to build this furniture.

22. Now I just feel stupid as f**k.

23. I don't think I've ever sworn more…IKEA brings out the worst in me.

24. Maybe if I meditate I'll calm down? Meh, probably not.

*An hour and a half later*

25. Are you kidding me right now? The pull-out drawer won't even go all the way in.

26. I literally hate everything.

27. Oh wait, I just forgot to hammer that screw in all the way.

28. False alarm, friends. I have not yet gone completely insane.

29. I'm never going to look at IKEA the same way again.

30. Dear IKEA, thank you for shaving off a solid five years of my life from the stress induced by your instruction manuals.

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Thoughts I Have Whilst Building IKEA Furniture

You don't know stress until you've gone head-to-head with an IKEA instruction manual. Screw you, MICKE desk.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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