I don't know about you, but I'm a MONSTER without coffee. Like straight up I don't want to talk to anyone. Don't look at me. God help you if you bump into me or happen to give me a look. This is why I usually make coffee first thing, but if I run out of K-cups or whatever, there are so many thoughts I have on the way to get that sweet, sweet caffeine. Am I an addict? Probably. But, like, I am in college and human so...
Here are 14 thoughts I have before having my daily coffee:
1. W H Y
Why am I out of K-cups? Why do I have class? Why do I not live where it's a smooth 80 degrees ALL YEAR ROUND? Why are cars driving past my window making noise?? Rude.
2. Do I actually have to do things?
Can I just not do the things? Adulting is so hard and my bed is so comfy and I'm just not feelin' it, tbh.
3. WHERE ARE MY *insert X number of things I can't find*
My headphones walked away, I guess? Literally, where is my textbook? I had it a mere six hours ago. My socks will never match it's fine, I'm fine, everything's fine.
4. *Looks outside*
Hard pass.
5. It's so cold.
I forgot I actually went to school in the arctic tundra??
6. I'm so uncomfortable.
I should've stayed in bed, honestly.
7. Why. Do. People. Walk. So. F*cking. Slow?
Do you not have anywhere to be?? Must be nice!! Hurry the ef up!!
8. Why do said slow walkers take up the ENTIRE sidewalk?
IT'S YOUR WORLD, I'm JUST LIVIN IN IT
9. Why do people take a decade and a half to order a DRINK?
Honestly, it's not "The Bachelor." Just pick one and drink up it's just mildly different tasting caffeine
10. This barista is too cheery.
Oh is it a great day Brenda?? You and your bright red
11. My name is the most common of all just write it down.
Seriously, my parents were not creative you don't have to think too hard. Also, it doesn't matter just write it down so I can be one step closer to having my coffee.
12. It's a LATTE, not a space shuttle!!
YOU'RE NOT MONET. THIS ISN'T A MASTERPIECE JUST MAKE THE ESPRESSO AND POUR SOME MILK I'LL BE FINE.
13. *Sip*
Read: gulp
14. I'm sorry for what I said before I had my coffee.
We're good, right?
