"My cheeks are SO PUFFY"

"Chipmunk cheeks" are seriously no joke.

"All I've done today is sleep"

This is probably the most well-rested my body has ever been.

"If I have to eat soup one more time, I might scream"

Better get used to it! No solid food for a week is truly a struggle.

"But, I can eat all the ice cream I want, and no one can say anything"

If you're an ice cream lover like me, this part of the process isn't half bad.

"These pain meds are no joke"

Expect to be zonked about 30 minutes after taking them!

"I liked milkshakes/smoothies better with a straw"

Straws are controlled. But, since you don't want a dry socket, you have to risk making it rain chocolate shake all over your face.

"Hang on, I gotta rinse with salt water real quick"

After. Every. Single. Meal.

"It's so pretty outside. Too bad I look like the baby filter on Snapchat IRL"

Sure, someone could drive me places to get out of the house ... but not with these swollen cheeks. You'll just have to get creative to fight the boredom.

"What do you mean I can't swish or spit??"

I don't know if you've ever had to let water fall out of your mouth instead of spitting it out, but it's not right. Nothing about it feels right. It feels like a waterfall coming out of your mouth. Just ... no.

"My only friend right now is this ice pack"

Keep your friends close, but your ice pack even closer.

"How far is too far when brushing my teeth?"

Don't brush too hard or go too far back! You'll disturb the healing process!

"Can I stop drooling in my sleep for two seconds?"

Maybe this is just me, but my mouth has stayed open ever since the surgery, especially while sleeping. You might wanna put a towel down the first couple days because your mouth will bleed. Like, a lot.

"I can't get up right now, my mouth aches too bad"

Is this a dumb excuse? Absolutely.

Is it always true? Eh, not always.

Will it still work 99 percent of the time? Of course.

"This antibacterial wash is absolutely DISGUSTING"

Once in the morning, once before bed. Your whole routine is in for a rude awakening.

Pro-tip: DO NOT RINSE WITH WATER AFTER. It WILL taste even worse, somehow.

"Honestly, I love how everyone is waiting on me now"

This is your one week to be treated like the queen/king you are, so definitely take advantage.