You have been in your current relationship for a little bit and things are going great. Actually, way more than great-you have been on cloud nine for months and it worries you a little bit. You know that relationships can have their moments, but yours has been nothing as you imagined and you are loving it!
Until you have your first moment that did not go as well as you had hoped. You stepped out of your comfort zone and you are scared you stepped too far out. You start to panic that you have just ruined the best thing to happen in your life. You are running situations in your head about how he is going to tell you that it is not going to work anymore. Heck, you may even be thinking about how to tell him that it will just not work for you because you feel as though you do not deserve them in your life. You may have also seen way too many "relationship goal" videos that you told yourself you need to be this type of girlfriend or else they will not want to be with you for the long run. You have told yourself that if you are not "perfect" that means you will be alone forever because no will love you.
That moment right there that is you ruining your own relationship. You are being way too hard on yourself. I want to take a moment and think of any time in this current relationship that would make them want to leave you. Honestly like take a second to really look at how your relationship is going. Also, not every relationship is going to be rainbows and butterflies, so if one tiny thing goes wrong do not jump to such conclusions. Yes, that is harder said than done. Trust me, as I am writing this I almost ruined my own relationship that is still growing strong to this day.
I am not saying it is easy and I am not saying you will become an expert any time soon, but the sooner you start to realize you are being too hard on yourself will help you and your relationship. If you keep stepping on egg shells for no reason, your significant other will think that they are the ones causing you to be this way. You may also be feeling this way because you tried to open up to someone before and they never paid any attention to you. They made you feel like you had to hide who you were just to get them to notice you. You start to pick at the parts they did not like so you become someone you don't even recognize anymore because you just want to feel love.
That is not the love you want. You do not want fake love that comes when someone tears you apart and leaves you thinking that it is your fault when it is not yours at all. Your past is haunting you because you are starting to believe that they could be right, but they are very wrong. Look at the person who is being there for you right now. Not the gross people in your past, but the person right now who is looking at you as though you have been made to perfection. They are giving you their undivided attention and making sure you have things you could possibly want and need.
Do not let your past ruin your future. Your mind is in control and sometimes we need a reminder that we are amazing in our own ways and someone will love us for who we are. We are made to be with someone who will love us for who we are, not for the pleasures of others who will not appreciate who you are.
