This isn't me

Being a maiden in distress

This is just

How my mind works sometimes

And I need to make it public

That's all

I just

I just

Want something

I'm not quite sure what it is

More than what I have now

But at the same time

I don't want anything

I couldn't be happier with where I am

With what I have

With who I know

Just

Sometimes

I feel

How far can I get

I have some cash

A rusty car

Some gas

I can get pretty far

I guess that's what I want

To go

See stuff

Do things

Do more

But at the same time

I'm perfectly content

Staying where I am

I have a group of friends

And what a group

Let me tell you

These guys and girls

They're the best bunch

I could have hoped for

When I'm with them

I feel like myself

I feel like I can do anything

Say anything

I'm free

Same thing goes for the stage

I can be myself through another person

Through a character

It's the only other place where

I'm free

I know my friends and the stage

I know they appreciate me

I know my family does

And I know a few others who do too

It's just

When I'm alone

Me and my thoughts

I start thinking

Probably the most dangerous weapon I have

Thought that is

And when I think

I go off

Everything and everything

I have ever done

Comes down on me like a tsunami

I'm overwhelmed

That much

Stuff

Shouldn't be felt at once

I become desperate

Looking for something

That doesn't exist

I think again

How far can I get

What can I see

If I just

Go

No chains

No longer

Regular

Dull

Boring

I guess that's it

That's what I fear

That's why my thought

Lead me to

Going

I don't want to live the same day

On repeat

For life

But at the same time

I do

It's comforting

In a strange way

It's safe

Which is good

My dad serves in the Navy

To keep life safe

So I'm grateful

And content

I just

Don't know really

I'm not going anywhere

I sometimes think is all

I want to see what I'll become

Eventually I'll shed off

The people who make things difficult

And one day

Be surrounded by people

People

Who like me

Love is a strong word

And you can love someone

But not like them

If they like me

Me for me

That would be enough

And I'll be glad to have them