As a college girl, really just a girl in general, I struggle a lot with self-worth. My main issue is that I don't really worry a lot about what the world thinks of me, but I worry a ton about what I think of myself. I literally get stressed out looking in a mirror, not because I am worried about what the world is going to see, but what I am going to see.
When I look at myself I want to be proud of who I am. I want to be able to say to myself that I am doing so much better than I was a year ago or even just a day ago. I struggle because I know I am enough for the Lord and I know that I will never measure up the world's standards, but I seriously just doubt that I am enough for myself.
Lately, I have been doing really great. In school, in friendships, and just life in general. I was doing so great I started to believe in myself - weird, right? I started saying things like "I am smart," "I am beautiful," "I am successful," and even, catch this, "I love who I am."
I never do that.
I am a complete failure at believing in myself and the problem with that is, if I believe that God designed me for a purpose I should never, not be proud of who I am. I should always be saying positive things about myself because I was created for a positive purpose.
This article (shameless plug) about not having the world's definition of beauty speaks volumes because I base how I view myself off the world's eyes and not my Creator. As I mentioned earlier, looking in the mirror stresses me out. I would even put it on a list of fears, but honestly why? If I know that I won't measure up to the world's standards but I also know that God has a perfect plan for me, why am I afraid of who I am?
"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'" 1 Samuel 16:7
I don't think I am enough and I am scared of my reflection because I am still looking at myself with judgment. The Lord looks at our hearts, he sees our blemishes and covers them. He says we are enough when we tell ourselves we aren't
Me believing in myself is a direct reflection of me seeing myself through the eyes of Christ and not my sinful eyes. Me saying I am enough is good because God said I was more than enough.