*Drives into the parking lot*

"Ok this is gonna be a quick trip... just gotta get the essentials. I might as well leave the car running because I'll be so quick. Nevermind... probably shouldn't do that...bad for the environment. Ok turn off the car - it's time to conquer the grocery store."

*Walks into the grocery store and is overwhelmed by the smell of temptation, the sound of crying babies in metal carts racing around the aisles and the sight of exhausted parents attempting to supervise said children*

"Amateurs. I'll be in and out of here before that baby even stops whining."

*Enters fruit and vegetable section*

"Oh yes I love veggies and I will totally eat this entire bag of baby carrots. Two large containers df big red strawberries for the price of one? Heck yeah, it would be a crime not to buy them. I'll just snack on those this week. I don't even know what dragon fruit is but I'll probably eat it and feel like a new person so I better get five. It's apple season so I better get a bunch of those too because you know fall only comes once a year. Mmm those bananas look good and I need to fuel my preexisting avocado addiction. Better get some citrus fruits too because flu season is upon us. Wow look at all of these healthy snacks. I am the poster child of health and efficiency."

*Exits produce and reaches premade food and deli*

"I never noticed how good those bowls of cold soggy noodles looked. I'll take a container of that and the potato salad next to it...maybe I'll start liking that now. Is this soup homemade? Who cares, it smells delicious. I need that too."

*Moves on to the bakery and things progress rapidly*

*Exits bakery and has no memory of time there but, somehow cart is now full of three different kinds of bread, a dozen muffins, a bag of bagels and donut for my troubles*

"Um...ok...yep this is fine just a few more things then I'm done."

*Finds snack aisle and is drawn in like the Romans to Circe's island*

"How am I supposed to choose between golden Oreos and regular? I'll get both, it's called balance. Could alway use some pretzels, and maybe some chips and salsa for good measure. Mmm Cheez-Its."

*Finishes the trip with a stop in the ice cream aisle to mourn the loss of my self-control*