Dear Angel,

It's been a while since we last talked and I'm sorry, but even after all of these years it doesn't get any easier. Every time I think about you I still feel a little lost and I don't think any amount of time will ever make that change. It will always hurt that you're not here with me now, it will always sting that I can't see your smile anymore. I believe that people come into your life for a reason and I'm glad you stumbled into mine. People have told me you're my lesson not to drink and drive, while that's true, I believe you came into my life for a far greater reason. You made me into the person I am today. This letter is my way of telling you thank you.

Thank you for having coffee with me during our first hour and talking to me about the same damn thing every day. We may have only talked about how our boyfriends at the time were either the best or worst people alive or about what we were wearing to prom, but it was more than just boyfriends and prom to me. Thank you for being there with me through all of the big things in my life. For being my voice of reason and helping me through what I thought were the worst things that would ever happen to me. You showed me this light at the end of the tunnel but it took me until now to realize that you were actually that light.

Thank you for saving me a seat at the lunch table every day. You made me feel welcome just by saying that there was a seat for me with you. It didn't seem like it was a huge thing to share that round piece of cold plastic attached to that grimy table, but that lunch table is where I have the best memories from High School. Talking about what the student section would be doing at the game on Fridays, watching promposals and sneaking our phones to take stupid pictures. Those are the memories I still hold dear from my final years in that town.

Thank you for always giving me a smile when I needed it. You could always tell when I was upset and you did whatever you possibly could to make me smile, and it always worked. You could always pull me out of the hole that I always seem to put myself into.

Thank you for coming to my first open mic night and sitting in the first row so I wouldn't be so scared singing in front of the whole school. Even if you made me mess up the words once or twice, I was still able to face my fear because you helped me through it. You even brought me cough drops because my throat was sore before I went on stage. Thank you for always pushing me to test my limits and face my fears.

I'm sorry I let a guy come between us our freshmen year. I'm sorry I let a fight or two come before our friendship. I'm sorry for all of the dumb things I ever said that hurt you. We might have talked it out while you were still here but our fights and that solid year of not talking to each other is still one of my biggest regrets.

What I really want to tell you is I miss you. I miss seeing you every day, I miss talking to you all the time, I miss day-dreaming about prom with you and I really miss seeing you at your locker every day. No matter how much time passes it will always feel like I just found out you aren't here. I want to be able to go back to that school and go to your locker and see you standing there, with that beautiful smile on your face. I want to be able to hug you one more time, to at least be able to say goodbye.

No one should ever have to go to a funeral before they turn 18. No one should have to bury a friend, let alone three who died on the same day. You should have gotten an amazing promposal and I should have seen you in that beautiful blue prom dress. Our class shouldn't have been reduced to a puddle of tears at the prom assembly while your parents talked to us about the dangers of drinking and driving. I should have seen you walk at graduation, instead of just having an empty chair with your gown and a picture.

I don't think anything will make you being gone hurt any less today than it did all those years ago. I don't think I will ever understand why you were taken from us. I don't think I will ever understand why anyone will ever get behind the wheel while they're drunk, but I guess I'll always have the scar to remind me what happens when they do.

Not a day goes by where I don't think about you. Even though you're gone I'm glad I have a guardian angel watching over me and keeping me safe no matter where life takes me. Thank you for continuing to be the light at the end of the tunnel for me, even though you're not here anymore.

I love you more than words can describe. Please keep dancing in heaven and show the world that should always feel tall when they stand beside the mountains.

Until we meet again,

An Old Friend