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To Those I've Neglected

You are my ray of sunshine in a clouded world.

Juanita Rosemarie Saylor

Jul 26, 2016

Eastern Kentucky University

Favim.com

I know you feel like I dropped you like a bad habit, but in reality I just needed to collect myself.

I didn't intend to hurt your feelings. I never wanted you to be upset. I know I've been distant, and none of that has to do with you.

Over the the time I've been locked away, things have happened and I needed to figure things out. I needed to find out how to be happy again. You are my happy place, and I need you to stay that way. After all, I do love you.

I left hints that I would be OK, and that I needed to work on me. I needed to wallow in my self-pity for a bit so I could find me again. I get so lost in the world that sometimes that's harder than I could imagine.

I needed to cry, because those tears needed to be shed. I needed to reflect on the events, so I could fully understand what was going on. Most importantly, I needed to find me.

Although that journey has been ongoing since my angsty teen years, it's still one I need to continue. To truly be happy, you have to first find out who you are. To be honest I'm still not there.

I've been trying to look deep within and find out who I am. I want to find out my true likes and dislikes, and for some reason I can't. It's as if I'm an empty shell who goes through the motions.

I'm the person who always says yes, and I feel as if I'm never allowed to say no. I won't allow myself to be selfish. In the long run, I feel like that's what gets me hurt. I always push my feelings aside and worry about the issues of others. It's taking a toll on me. I have been and always will be there for you all, and that will never change. But I do need to think about me.

I'm not saying you are never there for me, because I know you have been and will always be.

I need to find out what I want in life. I need to decide where this life is going to take me. I can no longer not think about me. I need to show the me kept deep down that it deserves a chance to breathe.

I need to find my beauty, my peace of mind, and my happiness. I need to find out who I am.

I need you to be there; I need you to love me. I need you to be supportive in my endeavors. By no means am I pushing you out of my life.

I feel like life is passing me by and that I haven't lived. I need to experience things and enjoy what little time I have here. I want you there step for step, because you are a part of me. You helped me get this far, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I owe you many things. Respect, love, honesty, and most importantly, I owe you my life.

Please understand, it's truly me and not you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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To Those I've Neglected

You are my ray of sunshine in a clouded world.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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