Some people can openly trust people. Some people can fully and completely let others in. And some can pour their feelings into others as gracefully as a watering can providing nourishment for the flowers. For some, that is so very easy. Those people are lucky.
Then there are some who have no idea how to be vulnerable. Some people who have been so broken from putting their trust in the wrong person. Some people who are skeptical of everyone they meet. And it is such a shame. Because lack of community makes life so much harder. And let's be real, life is hard enough as it is. But for some, revealing intimate details about their lives is like pulling teeth (sorry for the overused cliche). And it's not their fault. It's harder for some to open up than others. It is for those people that I write this.
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You push people away because those who leave first have no fears. They have no fears of being left alone. No fears of not being good enough. No fears of love lost.
So you push away everyone that cares about you, so that you don't have to live in constant agony over who will walk away and when. Because you made the decision for them. You chose to abandon them before they even got on board. You chose to plead guilty and be hauled away before they even had the chance to testify.
So now, here you are. Alone in a cold, dark cell. And the funny thing is, you chose this-Intentionally or unintentionally. This is your life now. All because you were too scared to let anyone in. Whether that was something you learned to do or something society taught you. Or maybe you were just programmed that way. Either way, it diminishes the beauty of this life.
Now tell me, who was it that took the smile on your face and turned it into a stone cold stare? Who was it that stole the laughter from your soul and turned it into tears? Who was it that took such a trusting, loving little girl and crippled her with fear?
I want to tell them they were wrong. I want to tell you they were wrong. Because when you look around your cell, what do you see? Emptiness? Sorrow? Regrets? Because you didn't walk, you ran, as far away as possible from all those who loved you. From those who were destined to be a part of your life. Who God Himself hand picked to help you battle your demons. And you threw them back in His face.
But my love, it's not too late. Because the same love that allows God to give second chances does not stop with you. When will you realize there are no guards at your prison cell? Only you. It is your reflection you see when you look through those bars. And the key has been in your pocket this entire time. You were just too blind to realize it.
So it's your choice. Stay in this cell and die alone. Or unlock the door, and live in freedom. Choose carefully.
