Have you ever felt alone when you don't want to be? It makes you feel like you're absent from the best party of the year even when it's just a simple Monday morning and nothing is going on. You feel left out, bored, like life is stagnant and not as fulfilling as the next persons'.
I'm a loner most of the time and enjoy my space, but there are times when I feel... well... alone. During those times, I always find it best to remember that there are ways to be productive and ways to feel happy without relying on others to give us the companionship that we need. We can be our own friends and make the best of our time. These are a few things I've discovered that always help me feel better.
1. Sit down in your thinking chair...
Rene Descartes pointed out, "I think therefore I am," and what better time to think than when you are in solitude and uninterrupted. Perhaps not even your usual rambling mind thinking, but you can practice deep problem solving thinking - the kind that creates plans and goals and solutions to conundrums. Take time to dream and visualize what you want your life to look like. There's always something interesting to learn about and always some sort of problem to solve, so instead of focusing on being by yourself, focus on something else that can help you grow and be a better person.
2. Can't pour from an empty cup...
This concept is mostly for introverts like me. When I'm around people, even those I've known my entire life, it is somehow mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. There have been times where I've spent the day in a crowd and rushed back to my dorm room to cuddle up under the covers with my phone far across the room. There are some people who get energy from others, but then there are some who give of themselves and become exhausted. If you're like me, being alone is a great time to simply relax, breathe, and melt into your bed with a cup of tea and a good book. Only when you have your energy back can you continue being the best version of yourself.
3. Who are you...?
When Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true," he wasn't saying be who you think others would approve of. It's easy to get swayed into being who you think others want you to be or who you even put pressure on yourself to be, but the goal in life is to find our purpose and walk our own unique paths. What's right for them may not be right for you, and what you think you are supposed to do may not be what you're meant to do. When you are by yourself it's easier to look in the mirror and ask yourself what it is that you want. What makes you happy? What music do you enjoy listening to? What is your favorite TV show, or magazine, or clothes? How do you feel your appearance matches who you are on the inside? What do you like, what do you not like? Instead of thinking about how alone you are, think about what gives you joy and find ways to bring more of that into your life.
4. Creative focus...
Any artist can tell you staying focused can be tough. As a creative writer I am also an avid procrastinator (not saying all of you are!) and can be distracted by a multitude of things. Having a draft due usually means it's the perfect time to clean the house or go to the mall, but one thing is certain for me - people are the most distracting thing of all. If I need to write and someone is sitting next to me, I'll likely strike up a conversation and spend my time wondering what I can pick from their brains or I'll listen to them jabber on for as long as they will talk just to do something other than stare at a blank page and work. As I'm making a career out of art this is BAD - being along to work is GOOD. Alone means you can get things done and be less distracted. Alone is where you can find the best artistic flow. Even if you're not an artist, art is a great way to feel fulfilled. If you find that no one is around and you start to feel lonely try creating something out of nothing. Play an instrument, color with crayons, build a bird box, sing like you're performing on stage at an Opera, relax and have fun - no one is even watching! Enjoy that freedom to express yourself without restraint.
At times being alone can be unpleasant and make us feel uneasy, but remember that there are many avenues to happiness besides absorbing it from others. It's never fair to place your happiness on someone else, be it a single person or a crowd. No one can grant you fulfillment but yourself. Use your alone time to your advantage! It doesn't have to suck!