Today's society has created a stigma around sexuality and gender. It is constantly and consistently said that being gay, bisexual, transgender, etc. is a choice that one made for themselves. In this article, I hope to dispel, and maybe convince some, that sexuality and gender are not choices that are made; They are simply choosing to accept themselves.
Throughout the five years I have been an openly gay woman, I've been asked many times, "When did I decide to be a lesbian?" The thing is, I've always known that I was different, I just never knew why. I never knew that I was allowed to be attracted to other women. After a couple years of soul searching (at a young age) I was able to come to accept the fact that I was gay. Even though I accepted myself, I knew that not everyone would. Growing up in a conservative, back-woods town in western Pennsylvania, there wasn't a lot of room for acceptance. People there were practically carbon copies of one another. Homosexuality wasn't uncommon, but hate was alive and well. Though hateful things usually weren't said directly to a person, ignorance was widely spread through broad generalizations. I've heard the terms "disturbed" and "mentally ill" when the topic of conversation was homosexuality. The most unfortunate part of it all, was that the most hateful, and the most ignorant, had no intention of educating themselves. Since it was different from who they were, it was automatically considered bad.
The idea that sexuality or gender identity is a choice is one that is held by many. Many who do not understand. Each person has the possibility to lose family and friends because of who they are. Young people are forced out of their homes, because of their sexuality, or who they know they are. They're disowned by their families because of who they love. Not only can losing family be scary, but losing friends can be even more terrifying. Hate is a choice. Love is not.
I question why people say sexual preference is a choice, I truly do. I once saw a post on a social media that said something along the lines of, "Newer generations aren't creating new identities, they're just giving a voice to those that have always existed under the burden of shame." The times have progressed in a positive direction, from the monumental Supreme Court ruling in June of 2015, to the continuing fight for transgender rights. Though these fights are not easily won, this is a community that doesn't let hate or fear stand in our way.
