I have this terrible habit of getting my hopes up extremely high. I trust people and the things they say until proven untrustworthy. So, when people told me that college would be the best years of my life, I totally believed that. I mean, its college right? Endless parties, too many friends to count, sororities, fraternities, clubs to get involved in, everything in the movies/social media and all the great stories I’ve heard from older friends- college has to be the greatest time I will ever have, ever. For me that is really saying something because contrary to popular belief/expectations- I LOVED high school. LOVED it. I had the absolute best time in the world with friends I grew up with for ten years that never moved away (and I went to a 5A high school so again, this is a huge deal). So when I hear that college is supposed to be the best years of my life, high school me is so ready for it. It’s going to be so great. Then I got here, and everyone that told me that is full of crap. Here’s why:

Sure, college is fun. Especially at Tarleton State University (A.K.A. the best kept secret in Texas), because Tarleton has this thing called Duck Camp which is a whole other story but the gist is this: three days of “Tarleton is the best, we have the most school spirit of any school ever, our traditions are better than any school in the universe, college is sunshine and daisies.” I love Tarleton. With every single fiber of my soul- I love this place, but college has not been the best for me. Freshman year is fun- people should specify. I’m facing graduation this year; it’s so close I can taste it. I have been involved in just about every single thing you could think of. I have poured my soul into this school and everything I have done. People that know me think I am so happy inside- but college has been the hardest thing I have ever had to endure, it has not been the best years of my life, and I swear if this is it, life will suck. I’ve spent most of my years here becoming someone I am totally not- because that’s what my later college years did to me. It gave me social anxiety, it made me feel so alone, it made me want to give up (and if it wasn’t for Tarleton I swear I would have), it made me become this negative person that I do not even recognize. All of these things sound so ridiculous coming from me because I am a privileged girl, and I know that. My parents help me with money, I’m engaged to the most wonderful man on the planet, and I have done some pretty awesome things; I have a ton to be thankful for. How ridiculous for me to be this down about my experience, right? But how am I supposed to help it when my hopes were so high for all these years? I was supposed to walk away from this with a ton of lifelong friends- I probably made 3 friends here that I will have forever. I was supposed to go out and have a blast all the time- I have a few stories to tell, but not like the ones I always heard about. I was supposed to have the spring-break trip of a lifetime on the beach with my butt load of friends. I don’t feel like I am living the best years- I feel beaten, and tired, and sick of it (not Tarleton, just college in general, can’t stress enough how much I love Tarleton). That’s why I believe this cannot be the best life has to offer me. I believe these years have prepared me for the best life has to offer- the next chapter.

I believe the best life has to offer me is coming after graduation. I believe in my very soul that when I graduate, my dreams will become reality- because I worked this hard to get there. I believe that the best years in my life will be when I get married, have time to travel, and have a job I actually like. I believe that the best years will be when I don’t feel so beaten and alone, when I can actually see my family more than just every couple months, and when I live in an apartment that actually feels like home. I refuse to believe that the years I spent broke, alone, in a crappy apartment, working in hospitals I hate, are the best years.

Don’t get me wrong here; I have had a few good times. I have learned a ton about myself and others. I have made a few good friends. I have done some really amazing things and learned things I will never forget- and I do not regret coming here and doing everything I have done, because it has all pointed me to where I’m headed, and I love where I am headed. I met the love of my life during this time, I met some of my best friends, I fell in love with Tarleton, but my personality is not a college personality. My point is this: there is more, and you shouldn’t sell your life so short and actually believe it when people say that these are the best years. If you don’t believe there’s more, if you got your hopes up like me, please believe me when I say there is more to life than being broke and stressed 24/7. And if you’re having the time of your life in college, if you aren’t like me, congrats to you because your life is going to be that much more incredible. Believe that- believe that it gets better, because I promise you it does. This is not it for me, and it’s not it for you- keep going. Make it until the end. It’s that whole cheesy quote they say, “Life’s a climb, but the view is great.” This is part of the climb, and it sucks and it will take the wind out of you, but being at the top is worth it.

Live it up for these years- live broke and single with your best friends and laugh about it, but listen up here: college gives you a story to tell while you’re living the greatest years of your life. College builds you, makes you strong, gives you skills to work in the real world; college is not, however, the greatest years of your life. Save that title for the years to come, make the next chapter the best chapter.