Maybe you're sick of me discussing dating in my articles. However, I've been getting a lot of good feedback and discussion around my last two articles. If people like reading about it, I don't see why I wouldn't keep writing about it.
This time, I write to the males out there, who I encouraged in my first article to be bold and start dating. If a girl intrigues you, don't be afraid to go ask her to coffee or a meal. You're never going to get to know her by standing back and thinking about it. In my second article, I encouraged the ladies to take guys up on that first date; to give them a chance, as they deserve it after showing the girl the respect to ask her out at all. One response to that article, though, made me think a bit. A female friend of mine mentioned that often, if a girl does go out on a date with a guy and it turns out not to go so well from her perspective, the guy will not take that rejection well. So, to avoid that confrontation, she would prefer not to go on that first date if she's not sure she wants to. She has a great point. Guys are just as guilty of overcommitting too early on at times, or expecting something from the girl just because you show interest. Therefore, listen up men.
I'm holding strong to the advice to ask girls out. Be bold, don't be afraid of what they might say. Hopefully, they'll be willing to give you a shot. If she does say no off the bat, don't sweat it. If she's going to deny herself a chance at getting to know someone awesome, that's her problem. For a moment, let's say she does say yes, and you take her out on a nice, casual date. You two have a good talk, and you feel like you've made a new friend. That's great! If you think it went well, ask her out again. However, remember that she has every right to decide she doesn't want to go out again. She has committed nothing to you. You can't be angry or upset with her if she simply doesn't want to be more than friends. Plus, that bitter attitude ruins things for other guys. If we react poorly to such a situation, then she'll never want to say yes in the first place, because she won't have to deal with the retaliation later if indeed she's not feeling it.
Along with this, I think the guys have every right to inquire as to why a girl doesn't want to go out again. However, I think that question can get awkward, so I personally don't put girls in that position. My point is, though, there is a reason that a female wouldn't want to go out with you again. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means she doesn't think it would be good for you to date her. If she thinks that, there's no debate, guys. You should probably move on, which is okay. If you think she's great, but she's not right for you, that means there's probably someone that you'll think is even better out there.
Don't let one case of rejection eat at you. And more importantly, don't blame or punish the girl for saying no, because you wanted a different answer. That's why you ask a question, to give her an option. She has the right to choose, and you should respect that. There are plenty of girls out there. Don't be afraid to meet as many as you can. And the temporary discomfort of rejection is beyond worth the joy you'll find in a wife someday.
