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This One's For The Ladies

A brief introduction to the method

Bud Debordes-Jackson

Jan 25, 2017

Illinois Wesleyan University

Debordes-Jackson

This one's for the lades is not some kind of trickery or shortcut. It's a lifestyle. In this framework, every action that you perform is an action for the ladies. This article will provide a brief introduction to the method, and provide examples of some of the many actions that are suitable for the ladies.

Wake up for the ladies

Today is for the ladies. Make it count.

Dress nice for the ladies

When it's for the ladies you must adhere to a strict dress code. Christmas ties are encouraged.

Visit the bathroom for the ladies

Hygiene is key.

And you can create some high level suspense.

Juggle for the ladies

Show off your unique skill set. You don't necessarily have to juggle oranges. Apples and pears are also permissible.

Become a botanist for the ladies

Anyone can buy flowers. Go the extra mile by showing the ladies your favorite indoor plant at your local library.

Do the Petrushka for the ladies

Who could resist that windmill?

Eat 24 bananas for the ladies

Then she'll know you aced all of your finals.

Conduct a local ensemble for the ladies

Nothing says "this one's for the ladies" quite like a prestige conducting technique.

Keep a detailed food diary for the ladies

Then she'll know what else you've been eating. A well balanced diet is essential.

Engage in 3 independent studies for the ladies

Textbooks and whiteboards make you look sophisticated. Be sure to mention how much time you have to spend on these independent studies whenever possible.

Give a bass recital for the ladies

Sometimes you gotta get back to the basics.

Go to bed for the ladies

Tomorrow's another day.

What are some of your favorite actions to perform for the ladies? Comment below or send your responses to buddebordesjackson@gmail.com for a chance to be featured on the next episode of The Bud Debordes-Jackson Show!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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This One's For The Ladies

A brief introduction to the method

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!