As I receive a text message from my best friend that reads, "my skin complexion isn't light, nor is it fair toned. My skin complexion is dark brown and I am of African American descent. So where is my light," I was a little confused by what she said, considering we both have dark skin. I asked, 'What the hell did she mean where is her light?!'
As I waited for a text back, I sat in my room thinking. My tv screamed police sirens and chanting from protesters: "NO JUSTICE NO PEACE!" I immediately became frustrated by the sounds and could feel anger growing inside.
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'Light? What in the hell does that mean?'
I began to think about our childhood. We were friends since diapers and we instantly became what we call sisters from another mister. I laughed to myself at the thought and remembered matching pigtails and outfits.
Still, I wondered what she was talking about and finally she replied back: "Do you remember that one summer we spent in Georgia, at my Papa's house? That time we first encountered racism," she said.
"When that old white lady called us the N-word and called us dumb because we were playing jump rope and singing songs and just being kids?"
I had totally forgotten about that or at least I tried to. That summer scared me because I've never had that happen or have seen it in real life. It took me a while to respond because I was trying to collect my thoughts.
After the lady said what she said, I just remember crying as if she broke my toy Barbie. My friend grabbed my hand and we ran straight to her Papa's house. We were just kids, we were only 10-years-old. Her wicked voice rang in my ears for the rest of that trip and I tried to bury it deep in my memory so I would never think of it again.
I sadly replied, "Yeah, I remember that."
I began to watch the TV screen again to drown out that memory but it didn't leave. The yelling, the shooting, the divide I see that happens right outside of my dorm room is unsettling. I realize that this kind of stuff happens every single day.
I then wonder, 'When is this it going to stop? What kind of world are we living in? There's no way I want to bring a child into this world.'
The childhood memory began to run chills down my entire body, but then there were two positive outcomes that appeared in my mind and I had seemingly answered my own questions. When we had run inside her Papa's house, she told him what happened. The feelings that took over my body made me feel paralyzed and unable to speak. He saw that and picked me up like a new born. He took us into the kitchen, my friend sat at the dinner table and he still held me into comfort.
He explained to us the situation the best he could.
"Some people are still stuck in their ways and seem to like things in the old days. Not all are sick, but there are some bad apples," he said. Don't ever let someone's opinion affect who you are, even if it hurts you. God made every single human in a beautiful shade, and you are one of them. He gave you LIGHT and you have to shine as bright as you can even in the darkest time and in the darkest places."
As his calming words filled my heart, I hugged my best friend.
I turned off the TV and called her. She answered the phone in fear and I smiled.
"Do you remember what your Papa told us?"
She paused. "Yes." I could hear the news in the background and the fear in her breath. "I just don't feel like I shine. My heart is heavy and my light is dim, where is my light!?"
I cleared my throat, took a deep breath and said, "You have to remember, you are light even with the darkest skin. We shine brighter than the stars together or apart. We could light up this whole world if we wanted to. Remember that!"
As she sighed, I can sense that her questioned was answered as well as mine. These days, it's hard to shine in the darkest times, but I realize that's when we need to shine the most. This light is surely mine and I'm going to let it shine.
