By Matt Vuylsteke, #12, Belmont Men's Soccer:
It wasn’t even a game. That’s what hurts the most.
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It’s one thing to be battling it out on the turf, desperate for the taste of victory. But that’s not what happened. It wasn’t for a game-winning shot, it wasn’t for a goal. It was practice.
That’s what makes it outright painful. But it's not a physical pain, it’s a whole different type of pain, an ache really, and it doesn’t go away very easily; it lingers and engrains itself into every thought, reminding me that it wasn’t for anything. It was just a drill.
It was just another day at practice, just another day out on the field with the guys. We were doing what we always do -- working to get better. Nashville winters aren’t exactly harsh compared to Canada, but it was the time of year when cold starts to give way to sunshine. Everything felt good.
I was running at a teammate and he passed the ball to my right. As I planted, my left foot was good, but my right foot, my right foot came in, and that was it.
My knee just completely gave out on me.
It went inward, and I could feel the bone just grind and crack.
I got up, though. I thought it was fine, that it was just the meniscus or something. But it turned into a three-week ordeal and the MRI showed I tore my ACL, had bone bruising, all of that. They told me I’d be out 6-9 months.
Just like that, my season was over. And it hadn’t even started.
I’ve had other injuries, of course. That comes with being an athlete, especially a college athlete. There have been a lot of injuries just to get here -- to Belmont University -- and play. I’ve had surgery on my left knee, even gone through stuff with my heart before. But this is different.
The guys, the whole team, they’ve been great. Nico, he had an ACL injury too. He told me, “It’s going to be painful, but you’re going to get through it. It’s a long time. It takes a while. But once you get back, it’ll be good. You’re going to have to work on it and continue to rehab it, but you’ll be ready.”
This is the biggest challenge I’ve had so far. This is the toughest obstacle I’ve had to overcome mentally. I don’t want to be done playing after college, I want to pursue my career further, play professionally. A lot of thoughts keep running and running through my head; I just keep thinking, “What am I going to do?” Because soccer has been everything for me.
I know this is going to take a toll on me. It already is. Every morning I go to practice and just watch them run drills. I sit on the sidelines, thinking to myself, “I would score that… Right there -- just cut in from the right side, smack it across.” I replay all those moments in my head.
You see stuff like this happen to other people, like Derrick Rose, people like that. So, yeah, this injury worries me, but if other people can come back from it, why can’t I? That’s the most important thing to me right now -- knowing this isn’t over. This is just a temporary setback that will open my eyes to a new perspective on soccer and give me the chance to see other aspects of life.
But this is far from over.
I’m going to keep taking opportunities to play. If the chance arises to play professionally, I’m taking it. Looking forward 10 years into the future, my dream is to have kids and a wife, and be playing professionally somewhere, maybe Italy.
That’s the absolute dream -- playing in front of tens of thousands of fans screaming and cheering, getting to show off my skills, be a part of something great. And then come home to a family.
I want to be remembered as a pro soccer player. I want to be an undisputed legend in some club’s book. Be a hero to kids, be the reason they started playing soccer in the first place.
But more than that, I want to be remembered as being a good person.
I want to be the guy that is uplifting and has a positive vibe that resonates and people feed off of. Be respectful and humble.
I want to be remembered in good standing by doing good things for other people and being charitable to others. Being generous and being a well-rounded person.
I’m working to be the best person I can be, and I’ll never stop working for that.
I owe it to a lot of people to be that person. My family for being so supportive and getting me here, my coaches, my friends, teammates and opponents. I remember my first coach, Coach Mark. He was the one who told me that I have talent. He told me, “You have to use that talent because I see it in you and it needs to be developed. Work to see where it takes you.” He was a big start to my soccer career, and he worked me through that.
Even other players like Jordan Allen, who’s on the U.S. Men’s National Team. He’s playing for the Olympic qualifier right now, but he also played in the Under-20 World Cup, so I’ve played with him and against him. Players like that are an inspiration, too, just because I have played with them and I know I’m that good. I know that I can get there too. It’s just a matter of time.
I’ve got a lot of work to do. My biggest, toughest obstacle and challenge is right in front of me, but I’m not the person to back down. Instead, I’ll grind it out and I’ll come back stronger.
So no, this isn’t over. It’s just the beginning.
