"When are you having children?"
There it is. That daunting question. Those five little words that come together to form a question that makes some women want to run away and hide. The truth is, they don't know.
Plain and simple. They do not know.
They don't know because they're not even sure it's possible for them to have children.
They don't know because they have been actively trying to have a baby for years, but they never see those two pink lines.
They don't know because they have been pregnant three times and miscarried each time.
That's why those five little words in that seemingly simple question can make some women want to come undone.
The truth for so many women is that they deal with infertility, PCOS, ectopic pregnancies and infant loss. They don't know if they will ever have children.
They remain hopeful.
Every month they have this little feeling of hope that bubbles up inside of them. They start thinking about how lovely a larger belly would be. They start thinking about what colors they would paint the nursery. They're even guilty of browsing maternity picture ideas online and yes, they even have a secret Pinterest board dedicated to all the ways they would surprise their family and all the different things they want to do with that little precious bundle of joy.
But then that bubble of hope bursts and they are left with a cruel reminder that a baby may not be in the cards for them.
This is why you may want to think twice before you ask someone, "When are you having children?"
We know that you mean no harm, but you are unknowingly planting a seed of hope that is just plucked from the cold ground when the realization that we can't answer that question hits.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Take this opportunity to learn more about the statistics and risks involved. So many women suffer daily. Stop asking them, "When?" and start asking how you can help.
