As a young woman who struggled for a majority of my teen years with nearly crippling anxiety, I know quite well the feeling of inadequacy and self-consciousness. I was always questioned about my appearance, which for a while consisted of ponytails, hoodies, jeans, and not a touch of makeup. I was the only girl in my class who had never even heard of Sephora or ULTA or the myriad of makeup items sold there. I never got chosen for Beauty & Beau or Prom Queen. I was never told by anyone (well, other than my mom, of course) that I was beautiful. Unlike some young women, I did not necessarily need these comments and prizes to make me happy, and being excluded never bothered me at all.

It has been more than a year since I graduated high school, and many things have changed. The biggest change, aside from conquering my anxiety, has certainly been in my looks. I dress up almost every day, I wear makeup no matter where I go (yes, even the gym), I cut and color my hair. Walking in to ULTA and Sephora makes me feel like a child waking up on Christmas morning. A substantial chunk of my morning routine is spent at my makeup table. Applying the various products to my face routine is now a therapeutic and relaxing action. Now when I walk out of my house I do so with confidence. The time I spend on how I look makes me content in my appearance.

Other people are apparently pleased, too, because now I get “you’re beautiful/gorgeous/pretty” fairly often. I always reply with gratitude and thanks, but inside I can’t help but feel a sting of discomfort. “Was I not beautiful before I started wearing makeup?” So many women walk around under the false impression that they are not beautiful, simply because we are a generation that has been raised to find beauty in a product rather than a person. The lipstick is pretty or the foundation is gorgeous or the eyeshadow is beautiful. Though many people may disagree, I was no more beautiful before I started wearing makeup and dressing up than I am now that I do so. I’m sure most of us have seen the “take her swimming on the first date” posts on Facebook or Twitter, showing two photographs of a young woman. On the left with a natural face and on the right with a full makeup look. Women who wear makeup and dresses and heels are not an ounce more gorgeous than women wearing t-shirts and sneakers.

The next time you see a girl without makeup on, do not get the idea that she does not care about her appearance. Admire her natural beauty, her confidence in refusing to conform, her personality. Tell her she is beautiful, too. Our generation can be the one to change how women think of themselves. We can be the generation that teaches our children to value the beauty of people’s actions, rather than to value the makeup on their face or the clothes on their back.