I have always been ashamed of who I am. I've always been too sensitive, too big, too quiet. There has always been something about me that I don't love. Something that I would want to change about myself.
But I am beautiful. Yes, I am sensitive and big and quiet. Who cares? I have learned so many things in my lifetime. For years and years, I have hated what I have seen in the mirror. I have never felt comfortable in my skin. This led to my depression. For as long as I can remember, I've been depressed, and it has been tough. Depression has pulled me back and forth between my mind.
On some days, I feel so happy I can't even remember that I am depressed. All of my worries are lifted away, and I am free of worry, of sadness and of being guilty. I can hang out with my friends and my family and not even think of the demons I usually feel.
On other days, the darkness is my best friend. All I can think about his all of the things I hate about myself. My body, my hair, my skin, and almost every physical trait. I didn't like the way I look. I never have and I thought I never would.
Everything changed a few months ago. I took matters into my own hands. I decided that I needed to change my life. I told myself, that if I don't love myself, how in the world, would someone else? But... that's false. SO many people loved me before I fell in love with who I am. The people who love me made me realize why I am beautiful and I couldn't thank them enough. They know who they are.
I am kind. I am probably the nicest person you would ever meet. Why? I believe that everyone could use a kind person in their life and you never know what someone is going through. I am loving. I love others more than I love myself and that's okay. Because I have so much love to offer. I am sensitive. I have a fragile heart and sometimes that sucks, but it just makes me more open and prideful of myself.
Lastly, I am beautiful. My body, my hair, my skin, every physical trait. Everything I once hated about myself, I love. That makes me beautiful. My kindness makes me beautiful. My loving nature is beautiful. My fragile heart is beautiful. I am beautiful. The way I see my self and the way I carry myself is beautiful. I am beautiful because I believe I am beautiful. I deserve it.
I will not apologize for unapologetically loving myself. I will not apologize for being kind, selfless, patient, and open. I will not apologize because I deserve this. I deserve to be happy and I deserve to love myself. Just like in The Greatest Showman, I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be. This is me.
