My name is Lis, and this is my cat Daisy. She is basically like every cat, except not because she is the coolest, dopest cat to ever walk the earth (100% not a biased opinion). I've had her since I was little; it's been about thirteen years now. As finals have started, I realized that she hates finals as much, if not more, than I do. She is an angry baby who cares about nothing that isn't food or sleep, basically the average college student contained in a tiny body. Feast your tired eyes upon her outrage that finals week is here. Daisy, my furious and already done baby, feels your pain.
1. Daisy is shocked that you would even mention finals.
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She forgot she had them.
Daisy is, in fact, ignoring her finals and staring out the window at what her life has become.
2. What? Hiding from my teachers because I can't take the test if the teacher can't find me?
I would never do that! Okay, you caught me hiding here, but stop staring before you blow it.
3. Would you stop talking about them?
I just want to lay in bed in peace.
4. Yes, I know it is only 3:00 pm. I am going to nap regardless.
Can you stop snapchatting about it?
5. If I fail all of my finals, I am living in the wilderness. I can never go home again.
How long do you think I will make it in the woods?
6. Okay, maybe it won't be so bad. I'll just attack everything head on.
I'll go at it from a forward-moving perspective, and I won't look back.
7. Nevermind, I can never go back to that school. Drive as far and as fast as you can go.
Mom help...
8. I can eat away all the stress right?
Eating makes everything better, so I will just find my happiness at the dinner table.
9. Oh sweet Jesus, I don't think I will ever be able to look at food again.
I'm forgetting something right? I forgot about my finals again...crap.
10. Nap away the pain, Daisy.
Nap it away.
11. How could I forget that final?
Also, how could someone think a five page test is easy? Do all my teachers hate me? Will I ever be able to look at them the same way?
12. Yes, I know I'm wearing the same thing as yesterday.
In case you need to know, I slept in it and was too stressed to change. Everything is fine. Please do not talk about anything else...
13. Hi, I haven't taken my eyes off my notes in seventy-two hours, and I think they have melted.
It's nap o'clock again.
14. I think if I sleep enough, the stress will dissipate.
That'll work. Well, I'm going to try even if it might not work. Do not wake me unless there is a substantial amount of free food on campus.
15. Seriously?! I thought I said no waking?
No, I don't care that the sun is up. I have a final at 9:00 am that I am avoiding for as long as possible, if you don't mind.
16. "Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?"
Because I have white hairs from this week, I'm pretty sure I will die alone, and I may have bombed everything in the worst way possible.
Guess who's moving to some refrigerator box under a bridge after grades go out! It's me. It's so cold, Jack, so cold. Who came up with the construct that are finals?
