Confession: I haven't started watching "This Is Us" yet. It's on my list of shows I'm interested in watching, and I know it's good (because why wouldn't it be with Mandy Moore and Milo Ventimiglia in it?!), but I haven't succumbed to the hype and binge watched it. However, after this article popped up on my Facebook feed, I'm thinking about bumping it further up my list. Why? Because Randall and I have more in common than the fact that both of our names start with Ra- and end in -l.
Let me start off with this disclaimer. Anxiety sucks, and mental health is just as important as health problems that manifest themselves with more visible signs. Don't believe me? Watch what happens to Randall when his anxiety overwhelms him and he has a panic attack. I've been there, and it's not a fun place to be. Anxiety is like a little tic that just won't go away. And the more you realize you can't control it, the worse it gets. Eventually that tic gets so out of hand that you kind of just shut down. You might feel like you want to sob and bawl and scream, but you can't breathe. You want to move, want to flee, want to run away from it all, but you're immobilized...and not by choice. Anxiety really can be crippling, just like depression.
"Of the three Pearson siblings, Randall is usually the one who seems to have everything together — but his shaking hand was a clear sign that something wasn’t quite right. Sure enough, we learn that Randall has been coping with anxiety since he was a child and experiences crippling panic attacks when overwhelmed."
I find it humorous, and slightly ironic, that EW mentions that the character with crippling anxiety is the one who, on the outside at least, seems like he has his life together. If there is a better example of how mental illness can be underestimated, just because it isn't obvious, I haven't found it. The thing is, you never truly know what people are going through until you've been privy to what happens when the façade of perfection fades away. On the outside, a person may seem like they are put together, have everything planned out perfectly, and know exactly what they're doing. But what's going on inside? Are they teetering on the edge between being "okay" and having a breakdown? People with anxiety can be pretty good at pretending that everything is hunky dory. We are able to put on a good show, and you might perceive us as having everything under control. Only those who truly know us on a deeper level can call bull when they see it. They're the ones who know when the image of being in control you're portraying is a ruse. They see what's really behind the walls, a person who truly has absolutely nothing under control. Those are the friends that you want around to offer support when you tip over the edge into panic attack mode. They're the ones who can comfort you, encourage you, and help you through it. And sometimes, it's because they've been there too.