Almost a month ago now, the TV show interpretation of the novel "Thirteen Reasons Why" was released on Netflix. Since it's release, a flood of Tweets, Facebook posts, Instagram accounts and even memes have been circulating the Internet, making it arguably become the most popular and most controversial Netflix series ever released. It's been something that even one professor discussed in my class, because even though it started as a novel for young adults, the mania surrounding it was enough to make her watch it.

I'll admit that I was a Clay when I watched the TV show, it took me almost a week to get through all of the episodes. I needed breaks from witnessing the pain Hannah went through. But personally, as a rape survivor, I was interested to see how Hannah's story played out. I remember when I got to the episode surrounding Jessica's rape, and I assumed that it would just be alluded to, but instead I ended up watching a very graphic depiction of it. I couldn't stop crying. And by the time I got to Hannah's rape and subsequent suicide scene, I had a panic attack in my bedroom. But I couldn't stop watching. It was graphic, and honest, and everything it needed to be.

Since it's release, I've seen many social media posts saying that there was no need to show the rape scenes as bluntly as they did, that it was hard to watch, that it gave viewers nightmares. But I offer up the very real answer to why they needed to show the uncensored and honest portrayal of the rape scenes: because as an audience we needed to understand just how hard it was for Hannah to witness, and to endure. We needed to understand exactly what happened and how it lead to her feeling the need to take her own life. Rape has a stigma surrounding it. It's a subject that not many people feel comfortable talking about, let alone actually watching. And as a survivor, it felt freeing in a way to know that "Thirteen Reasons Why" has forced conversations across the world to come up, forcing kids to talk about what rape is, and what can happen to victims, and maybe even things they can do to help.

And furthermore, for the people who feel that the rape scenes were too much, I ask you to consider what it must be like to actually be raped. You have nightmares from watching an especially vivid scene in a tv show, but I promise you it does not compare to nightmares from an actual trauma. This show gives people a chance to understand the life of a rape victim, and for that I am thankful. This show is something that needs to be watched, and talked about, and talked about some more. I hope that the frenzy of "Thirteen Reasons Why" only continues to start conversations and help bring survivors forward to heal.