Valentine's Day—a holiday about love, sex, relationships, and candy. It is THE most romantic day of the year, but it is the day that the single people dread the most.
You cannot go out on the 14th without seeing a couple within a three-mile radius. You can't go to a restaurant without seeing a cute couple looking deep into each other's eyes, you can't go to the movies because you will be the only person sitting alone, and you can't go to the stores because you will only see the giant teddy bears that you are not going to be receiving from that someone special.
The holiday is sad, it really is. I spent Valentine's Day with the same guy for three years and when that ended... well my parents felt so bad they purchased me a gift. I was alone, heartbroken and went from receiving flowers to receiving NOTHING.
But, for the people who are alone this Valentine's Day... have no fear because it's going to be a good year.
The 14th of February falls on a Thursday.
Yeah, a Thursday—big whoop, right?
No, a Thursday is a big deal because a Thursday at the bars = Thirsty Thursday.
What is Thirsty Thursday? You see, us college kids tend to go out during the week and blackout, have sex and spend more money than we should on beverages that only make us regret the night before. Everyone is out on Thursdays, even our professors.
Why would you choose to pout over being alone, watch hopeless romantic movies on the couch with friends or drink wine in the bathtub when you could go out on Thirsty Thursday? I guarantee the bars will be the ONE place that will not have that many couples out rubbing all over each other & constantly reminding you that you are alone.
The bars are where you are going to have those titties out, cheeks clapping and dry humping for the entire night.
Think about it. If you are a girl, imagine going out in the HOTTEST outfit you own and walking into a banging bar. I bet those single guys are not going to be going home alone.
Guys, imagine leaving your douchebag attitude on your couch, along with Fortnite, and snagging some ladies.
The pros of being alone on this day, this ONE day, is you are not tied down. Sure, you can thot plot all year—but this is a day when both genders are out to play—and not with themselves (ya feel)?
Stop spending this day sad, depressed and lonely and take advantage of Thirsty Thursday! We all have been single, and many of us are going to remain that way if we don't fix our act (@ me), but don't let this day have you defeated. Go out with your hottest crew and get laid not once, but twice, make out with a stranger, tell a stranger you love them, max out your cards because you cannot control your liquor intake. WHY? Because you are able to do whatever the hell you want.
Happy Valentine's Day...
Oh wait,
Happy Thirsty Thursday!
