We're over a week into October, so chances are by now, you've seen some sort of representation of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, be it a pink ribbon on someone's clothing or an advertisement for a fundraiser or walk. In year's past, it was the month where everything was simply pink. This year, it's so much different than that. This year, it's personal.
As a senior in college, you never expect the news that your mother has cancer, at least I didn't. My mother is easily the person I am closest to in my life, and the word cancer is one of the scariest words a person can hear from someone they love. I was less than four months away from graduating college and in the midst of an internship and some intense classes. My mom's cancer diagnosis was something that was hard to face, especially when I was still living in a dorm nearly forty miles away, and she had major surgery to remove a metastasized tumor and I couldn't be there. And that was only the beginning. The following months included physical rehabilitation, two hospitals stays, chemotherapy, and two rounds of radiation.
Through all of this, my mom has been nothing but strong. She has been optimistic and willing to do whatever she can to beat cancer. I cannot imagine what it is like to be her, but what I do know is that I admire her so much. I'm not sure what I would be like if I was the one who was sick, but I hope that I could be as strong as she is.
My mom having breast cancer has changed my life dramatically. I've taken on roles that I've never expected to have to, and the priorities in my life have changed. I think twice about things more and more often. Some relationships have flourished and strengthened me, while others have struggled or diminished entirely, unfortunate events that I could have never foreseen. Regardless of all of the changes, I'm glad I've had the opportunity to take care of my mom and be there for her while she is fighting chance. It has also taught me many lessons about hope, appreciation, determination, and strength.
A common misconception about my mom's cancer is that she had a mastectomy because she has breast cancer. However, my mom's cancer is what is known as metastatic breast cancer. It is not exclusive to the breast; that was simply the site of origin. Her cancer has spread to other locations, which have been treated with chemotherapy and radiation. My mother and I are finding more and more often that the misconception about breast cancer being confined to the breasts is a widespread belief, and it is untrue. Metastatic breast cancer can show up anywhere in the body, even if it is not in direct contact with cancerous cells. I hope that whoever reads this will now look at breast cancer in a new light and see that breast cancer is not necessarily just about the breast. Other parts of the body can be affected depending on whether or not the cancer is metastatic.
Over the past eight months, I have had a recurring thought about what everything was like a year ago, how different and "normal" my life was. Now, my family has settled into a new definition of normal, with my mom home all of the time and adapting to a new way of living as she continues to seek treatment. I've realized I cannot worry about the way things used to be. I have to take them as they are now, no matter how different I wish they were.
On a final note, there are a few thinks that I hope you take away from my story. First, I hope that you know that breast cancer is not a small box. There are many types of cancer survivors and fighters and even of a type of cancer. Metastatic breast cancer is a part of this, so a mastectomy is not always a necessity. Also, I hope that when you encounter someone who is fighting cancer or a person caring for a loved one who has cancer that you will be compassionate and try to understand them. Life has changed dramatically for them. Their world is upside down. Both fighters and caregivers are tired, both physically and emotionally. They have the weight of the world on their shoulders. Be empathetic. Show them that you care with your support and compassion. It's really all they need.
Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day is October 13th.
