You know, sometimes I just don't want to go out. I like to stay in, maybe watch a movie, eat some popcorn, but most of all my favorite thing is to sit on my porch and watch drunk college kids walk by my house on a Friday night. The best part is seeing the transition from the "fresh" drunk to the "late night walk home" drunk. If you have ever done this, you know what I'm talking about.
1. Everyone feels the need to run/fast walk wherever they go:
Instead of the casual walk down the street, I always notice people walk by at an unusually fast pace. Maybe it's the excitement of going out and the fact that it's finally the weekend, but almost everyone is in a hurry to go somewhere.
2. Inside voices are thrown out the window:
I mean come on, she's standing right next to you, girlfriend. You don't need to yell. So many people yelling at each other, yelling at cars, or just yelling to yell. My absolute favorite (insert sarcasm) is when they start singing.. I just heard a guy singing "Let It Go" so I rest my case.
3. Then you see what I like to call the "Lone Rangers":
The girls, or guys, that somehow lose all of their friends at some point in the night and end up walking home alone. Honestly, I'm not really mad at the people who are by themselves. I'm mad at the people who let them walk away and end up alone on the streets. I hate to say it, but this is when bad things happen, especially to women.
4. Girl love becomes so real:
Girls start telling each other they love one just because they pass each other on the street. I actually love seeing this because it's better than watching girl fights or hearing more yelling. You see girls helping girls out and giving them pep talks about a guy they have no idea about and telling her that she's better than him and doesn't deserve him, when she's probably the one who started the drama, but I won't get into that.
5. Someone at one point also becomes a tour guide:
And they typically give the wrong directions. I just heard a guy asking for directions to a certain place and whoever they asked must not be from around here because those are not the right directions whatsoever. I hope he eventually finds it.
6. People somehow think they are invincible:
You know, when they walk across the street in front of cars and think that just saying "no" or "stop" is going to work. That's how accidents happen and people get hurt. Or the one's who walk around with open containers just asking to get tickets.
7. Or my favorite, when they want to make friends with me:
Trust me, I love meeting new people and all, but not you. Not when you're drunk and when you're probably not going to remember this tomorrow. Also, you're just straight up obnoxious and your presence isn't wanted, your breath reeks of alcohol, and quit asking me for cigarettes because I don't have any.
8. Then you see the freshman girl, intentionally acting "too drunk" to follow directions:
I just watched a girl insisting to her friends that she couldn't cross the street because the "light was red." So I think to myself, what a smart girl, following pedestrian laws.. Until I realize that she looks at the red light one way and says she can't cross, then looks the other way when it's red and says she can't cross, and just goes on and on, back and forth, until the point where I get annoyed hearing her mess with her friends.
I only hope that I'm not one of these people, but at least we're still in college so it's sort of normal for this kind of behavior to exist. When it lasts beyond these 4 years, that's when we'll have a problem.
Oh and you know that guy who got bad directions.. He's on his third lap around the block. Maybe I should help him?
Nah.
