"2016 was the worst year of my life."

"2017 better be my year."

I wish I could go just one simple day without hearing phrases like this. Phrases writing off an entire 365 days of your life as "terrible" or "awful." Days that, when we really think about it, brought us a lot of joy. And if not joy, then lessons, perhaps.

Was 2016 the best year of my life? No. But was 2015 or 2014 or 2013? No.

I changed my career path and David Bowie died. And sure, some really awful things happened to me this year, but so did wonderful things. Beautiful things. And they happened to you, too.

Celebrating the new year has become more of a negative reflection on the year we're leaving behind and a doubtful wish that the next year will be better. It has become a holiday of cynicism and complaining and pity, and that just doesn't sit well with me.

Recognizing a new year is the same as recognizing a new beginning. So maybe 2016 was not kind to you, and I hate to break it to you: But there will be crueler years, and there will be kinder years.

I read in 11th grade Literature class that there are seasons that ask questions and seasons that answer them, or something like that. And I didn't know then how true that phrase was until now.

What matters is not the elements that we cannot control, how people treat us or accidents that happen to us. If people stop loving us. If friends leave us. What matters about the new year is the one thing that we can control: Ourselves and our actions.

If you didn't play the victim in every role of your life or concentrate solely on the negative things that happened to you, things wouldn't be nearly as bad as they seem.

All around us is beauty and goodness and light – every day, every week, every month and every year. So if you want to fixate on what vicious or cruel things people have to say about you, or if you want to focus on the 11:00 news, or if you want to wallow in your own self-pity then be my guest. Your years will not change and you will still hate where you're at, forever striving to be elsewhere. You will be stuck complaining about injustices instead of acting out against them. In the years to come, places like Aleppo will still be bombed and you will still be unhappy.

No matter how big or how small, nothing will change if we do not change first.