I've seen every single article concerning Starbucks and the whole red cup debacle. If you ask me, it's nothing but nonsense, but it got me thinking as well. I'm not mad about the red cup at all. I like minimalist designs and the spirit of the holidays. I love delicious coffee and I also enjoy warmth in both my heart and my belly. However, I do have problems with Starbucks, and they're probably a lot more serious that the red cup. Actually, they're WAY more serious than the red cup.

1. Spelling my name wrong ALL THE TIME.

For me, Starbucks is a treat. When I’m having a bad day or maybe I’m just exhausted, nothing makes me feel better than pretentiously ordering a grande mocha with two pumps of caramel and one pump of hazelnut with extra whip. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing. However, this small act that can result in enough joy to fill my heart a million times over can easily be ruined. By what? By forgetting the “I” in my name, that’s how. It’s not that hard. It’s one extra letter. Yes, I have a bit of a different name, but so many people spell it just like I do. Don’t be a d*ck, Starbucks. You know better.

2. Playing Christmas music that makes me want to tear my ears off.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas music. I have a favorite Christmas CD. It came from inside a Chex cereal box. Don’t judge me. However, when I hear "Jingle Bell Rock" every single time I walk past Starbucks between classes, I’m thrown into what many might perceive as a turbulent rage. Sure, it’s time for some jingly, festive music. But it is NOT time for "Jingle Bell Rock." Ever.

3. Warming up my baked goods.

This is probably one of the worst offenses that Starbucks has ever committed. I like my baked goods like I like my men. Room temperature. Not super cold, not overheated and too sticky. Room temperature and perfect. And if you’re one of those people who likes the fact that Starbucks makes your baked goods uncomfortably warmish, get out. Fight me. Leave. You’re scum and I hate you.

4. How much they buy into the pumpkin spice fad.

I enjoy pumpkin. I find pumpkin to be an alright flavor. I enjoy pumpkin pie and also carving pumpkins. What I don’t enjoy? Lattes that taste like cinnamon and ginger. We’ve got to stop it with the pumpkin fad as a whole, but Starbucks, when you buy into every white girl’s wet dream, you push me further and further away every year. And I love you so dearly and I don’t want that to happen. Please, settle down with the pumpkin spice. I’m begging you.

5. The multiple language sins they commit in their sizing.

Tall, grande, venti, trenta. Stop it. I get that your sizes are actually decent when you compare them to the other beverage sizes in the country. However, I need you to stop labelling your sizes like idiots. Tall? That is not tall at all. It is small and short and not that impressive. Unless you’re poor or a baby, you don’t need a tall sized drink. Grande? Grande means big in Spanish, but it doesn’t mean "big" when I look at it. It is by no means big or Spanish. This is the minimum amount of caffeinated heaven I will ever put into my body. Venti? Venti means 20, and this cup is 20 ounces, but I’m still mad because I don’t really like the Italian language when it doesn’t refer to noodles. Trenta is just excessive. No one needs that much. And also, the trenta is not 30 ounces, but THIRTY-ONE OUNCES. Starbucks is just a bunch of filthy liars.