I think a lot of the turmoil that parents and their kids' experience is simply a result of growing up being hard. And I think parents tend to forget how hard it can be. Like no, at the end of the day it didn't matter that my hair was ugly that one day or that I didn't have the newest iPhone when everyone else did. But I do remember that it felt like such a big deal.
I hope I remember these 7 things when I become a mom someday.
1. Just Listen
I remember a lot of times growing up I just wanted to talk. I didn't need advice or to be told that it was going to be okay. I just needed someone to listen to me and to not pass judgment or tell me that it wouldn't matter in five years. It mattered to me right then, and I just wanted to feel and be heard.
2. It's Hard To Watch Kids Grow Up, But It's Also Hard To Be The One Doing The Growing Up
I hope I remember that I'm not the only who notices my kids growing up and changing. I look back at my self in middle school and high school, even just six months and see so much growth and change. I know it's probably been hard on my parents while I went through all these changes, but it's been hard on me too. At some point you look at yourself in the mirror and go "You're not who you used to be but I don't know who you are now either."
3. To Never Make Them Feel Less Than Just Because They Are Young
I can't tell you how much it infuriated me to be told, "you're so young, you'll understand when you're older." It doesn't matter if I really do understand now that I'm older. It made me feel bad and less than when I was young. There are a million other things to say than to use the excuse that someone is "too young."
4. That Sometimes A Bad Day Just Needs A Good Treat, And Sometimes A Good Day Also Just Needs A Good Treat
Sometimes when you've had a terrible day it's nice to just eat some ice cream and go to bed. There's no need to make it a big deal or rehash it all. Food cures the soul (and I'll stand by that til I die)
5. Just Let Them Be Dramatic
Look, we all love a little drama every now and then- don't lie either, we know you do- so just let it be sometimes. Is it really the most ANNOYING thing that Susan only said she like Johnny because I said I did first? In that moment, the answer is yes. When you're a teen and hormones are raging, small things always seem bigger than they are. But just let it be.
6. Try Not To Push or Hover
This one I really hope I remember when my kids become teenagers because I know how I can be. I hope I remember not to push them into talking to me about sensitive things or push them into doing that one thing they really don't want to. I hope I don't hover over every little thing they do, even if I have good intentions.
7. That I Can Always Learn More And Be Better
Lastly, I hope I remember that it's my job as a parent to raise my child to be better than myself. That means that I will always have something to learn from my children. That also means that they'll push my buttons sometimes. But growth isn't always pleasant, especially not when it comes from the person that you're supposed to be raising.
At the end of the day, I hope to be a good mom. And while I can't say for sure that any of this will be helpful because I am not a mom yet, I can hope and I can hope that this also hits home for someone else. As the incoming generation of potential parents, it is our responsibility to be better and do better than those before us. It is our job to raise children who are kind, compassionate, and strong. I hope this list can make somebody out there a parent.
