The transition from high school to college is a major milestone for teenagers everywhere. All of a sudden, you realize that you'll be on your own, potentially miles away from home, to fend for yourself and figure out your entire future. HOW OVERWHELMING.
Throughout the entire college process, people around you will offer their advice, suggestions, and personal stories (both good and bad.) There tend to be a few common themes: Parents and adults assure you that your GPA, networking, and good internships will be pivotal in finding your future career. Sure, you can have fun sometimes, but be sure to focus on your education first! On the other hand, current students or recent graduates may tell you that the friends and experiences are far more important, and may even give you tips on the dos and don'ts, how to act in certain social situations, or the best way to sneak into all of the local bars.
Of course, this advice can be helpful and will all be put to good use in one way or another. From the outside looking in, these four years of your life will be filled with rainbows, butterflies, great stories, and even better friends. You'll work hard, but you'll definitely love every second of it! You might even find your future spouse, right?
But, at the same time, there are many aspects of college life that people refrain from mentioning. This could be out of embarrassment, shame, or even the desire to not "scare you away" from everything that lies ahead. There are darker sides of college life, difficult decisions to be made, and plenty of uncertainty as well. So, while you read tons of advice articles, take a few of these things into consideration. They may help you more than you know.
You won't always be totally happy.
One night, you'll be sitting in your bed, and your emotions and doubts will hit you like a ton of bricks. This may be from the stress of school work, but often times, it's simply from the stresses of life itself. You will start to question all of your decisions up to this point. "I thought this was the school of my dreams! Why do I not absolutely love it yet?" "Everyone else is having so much fun and making SO MANY friends, so why am I not?" You will feel homesick, lonely, and like you don't fit in, which can be difficult because all you've heard so far is that "college will be the best time of your life!" Trust me, this is normal. And trust me even further, the happy-go-lucky girl down the hall who seems like she has her whole life together has felt this way too (and if she hasn't yet, she will. I promise.) With patience and optimism, you will find your place and you will find people who you truly mesh with. And if this isn't the place where you're supposed to be, you'll figure that out with time as well. Everything happens for a reason. Don't sell yourself short, and don't give up before you've given yourself a fair chance to grow and adjust.
You don't have to do what everyone else is doing.
College is most certainly a time of self-exploration, discovery, and experimentation. However, too often, new students feel like they have to fit the so-called mold in order to make the most of their experience. This usually relates to lots of drinking, recreational drugs, and random hook-ups. Although these behaviors are generally fine in good moderation and without extreme danger to your health (USE PROTECTION), many people find themselves feeling pressured into these decisions just to "fit in," because that's what college is "supposed to be about." In reality, you shouldn't have to change your personality to impress others. EVER. This will leave you feeling more empty and unfulfilled than you ever were in the first place. Lots of people do these things, and that's fine, but if drinking and hooking up isn't your thing then so be it! It doesn't make you a "loser" (and those stupid labels should be left in high school in the first place.) Stay true to YOUR heart and soul and you will attract other people with the same values who accept you for who you are.
Getting involved is SO important.
Okay, this one might be a little cliche, but I can't even begin to stress how important this is. Too often, people tend to fall into a routine of doing school work without any outlet, which is bound to drive you absolutely stir crazy. Others often suggest that joining campus groups or organizations is the definite way to go, and that can be true in some cases. If you are able to be involved in music, sports, student government, or clubs on campus, then that's a wonderful first step. However, don't be afraid to expand beyond this horizon as well. Some people don't find these activities fitting for their interests in the first place. There are plenty of opportunities to volunteer, find a part time job, or participate in activities beyond your campus boundaries. Lots of students, especially freshmen, become caught up in the mentality that their peers will look down on them or deem them "uncool" if they participate in certain things. This immaturity and judgment will vanish when it's clear that you are having fun, building connections, and making friends whose interests are similar to yours. Don't let the opinions of others prevent you from doing something you love or from trying something brand new! Don't be afraid to completely leave your comfort zone!
"Friends" will come and go.
There's this strange misconception that when you start school, you will immediately make wonderful, lifelong friends who will potentially be in your wedding someday. But let's be honest, it doesn't always happen that way. Sometimes your roommate is the type of person that your parents warned you about, sometimes the people on your floor have nothing in common with you, and then you're stuck searching for the people who actually do, which can be an intimidating task. Some people meet their friend-soulmates right away and never look back. Sometimes, you and your inseparable first semester BFF will go separate ways less than a year later. Don't stress if you don't find "your people" immediately. And don't stress if you think you did and somehow things change or you grow apart. There are no strict guidelines for making friends. You may end up finding some of your best friends later on as an upperclassman. Life happens at its own pace and there's no need to rush or force anything that's unnatural. When you find your close friends, you'll know, and it'll happen whenever it's supposed to.
Your health and well-being should be your top priority. Always.
Everyone always pushes you to make the most of your opportunities, work hard in school, and succeed no matter what it takes. Rarely do they remind you, however, that you NEED to set aside time for yourself to regroup, destress, and relax in general. The pressure of performing well academically, being involved, and building networks can be both daunting and exhausting. Sometimes it's all a little too much to handle, and it's okay to recognize that and do something about it. It's perfectly fine to take a mental health day once in a while (sorry parents and professors.) Prioritizing and succeeding is important, but you'll never do well if you don't feel well. Never forget that most campuses offer free services where you can talk to someone who can help, and getting help is never something to be ashamed of. Sometimes these people are students too, and they know exactly what you're going through. So, don't push yourself to the breaking point, and certainly don't do it alone. You have friends, family members, and professors, who will gladly support you and talk you through issues in a healthy, constructive way. Grades and activities matter, but you should NEVER sacrifice your own health to improve these things. In the long run, putting yourself first is not a selfish act, but simply the most important thing you can ever do.
At the end of the day, no one can offer you all of the advice that you'll need to survive college. Part of the fun of it all is learning as you go, making mistakes, and solving new problems. College can be a fun and fulfilling time as long as you make the most of it and take care of yourself properly along the way. In these four years, you can find yourself, your passions, and your future path. Just try to remember that everyone has a unique experience, and as long as YOU are happy, then you're absolutely doing things right.
