Breaking free from a narcissistic relationship is hard.
No one knows that better than me, but the good news is that it can happen, you can break free and you'll be so much better off than you were before. When you are in one of these relationships it's hard to see the actual effect it has on you. But it becomes clear when you begin to date again. There's this uneasiness not just about others but about yourself.
With that, comes a lot of self doubt, especially in regards to relationships and your ability/role in them. It takes a very special man to show you what you never deserved in the first place.
These are just 13 things that happen when you meet a good guy after being in a relationship with a narcissist.
1. He loves you for you
Instead of what he thinks you can do for him. The relationship is about both of you and not just him or pleasing him.
2. He works for your trustÂ
Let's be honest for a second, your last relationship... was not built on trust in fact, the foundation was the exact opposite. It was built on an unstable ground of high intense emotions where everything was always your fault.
The one now...he's patient. He's gentle. He works to earn your trust not just assume he has it and in turn, he slowly helps you learn to trust yourself.
3. He's kind (and patient) all the time
Not just when it suits him or when he wants something from you.
4. He listens to you and wants to hear what you have to say.
Thinking back to your ex, you may just realize that you didn't really get a word in because he was always talking over you or simply not listening to you when you said something.
5. He knows theres more to you than what meets the eye
Your last relationship might have made you doubt yourself and all the choices you made. But you've now met a person who knows you can do anything that you set your mind to (and will tell you so).
6. He knows how to actually apologize
And know when he needs to. With the other guy, you almost always said sorry even when you weren't at fault, just to keep the peace.
7. He treats you right
And not just in the beginning when it was all new and you were still getting to know each other, but continues to do so even now. He is doing the simplest things that you never experienced before and it's a good feeling.
8. He spoils you.
And not just materialistically, but with love, affection, time and attention. he still gets the gifts, but they mean so much more.
9. He's upbeat and positive.
One of the things to know about narcissists is that they thrive on negativity and drama and the more of it the better off they feel. Not only that but the narcissists also creates or is the center of the drama.
10. You're on an equal playing field together
Its a the two of you vs the problem, not a you vs him vs the problem.
11. He doesn't manipulate you or throw guilt your way
You're both to blame when something happens, relationships are a 50/50 thing. if one's at fault chances are both are. The narcissists don't understand this so they use daggers and control to guilt you and make you feel bad.
12. He teaches/shows you what love is
You realize that love doesn't mean you should sacrifice self-respect to be what someone else needs you to be, that it needs to meet you halfway, and be with someone that cares just as much as you do.
With that, you realize that what you thought was love was not love, but its greatest disguise that almost hurt your very idea of it.
13. He gives you the world.
You were always going the extra mile to suit the narcissist—but you got nothing in return.
But now, there is someone who will surprise you with flowers for no reason and who will take you on dates and treat you like a queen.
