Maybe you don't remember, but that's what friends are for when you black out! These TFLN (Texts From Last Night) are some examples of what can happen when you drink too much.

• You could end up eating a McDouble burger out of a trash can because, hey, it happens.
• You could be dared to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard but end up drawing something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, get embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hide out in the coat closet until everybody leaves.
• Your friends could drop your black-out self off at a family campground in a different state, and when you wake up you will have to ask scared parents to tell you where you are.
• You could wake up in the beanbag bin at Walmart.
• You could be naked hot tubbing and use the hot tub water to chase a shot.
• You could get the eggs out of the fridge and yell, “My chickens are beasts at making eggs,” and then peg them at a couple making out.
• You might have to figure out if you took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath.
• You could try to jack off your friends dog.
• You could find a seagull in your oven.
• You could fall asleep under an umbrella and wake up screaming “seven years of bad luck!”
• You could wake up to find a water bottle of red mystery liquid labeled “not for baby turtles.”
• You could break your friend’s oven and show up to the party with a squirrel in your arms.
• You could lose your virginity in a banana suit.
• You could get driven home by a valet in a car he was supposed to be parking for an event.
• You could cartwheel across every street and bite anyone who tried to stop you.
• You could poop in someone’s car and leave $5 on the seat for inconvenience.
• You could scream “YOU DONT EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE” as your mom stitches up your head wound.
• You could send someone a picture of you holding a goat as an invitation for day sex.
• You could wake up on a futon in some strangers’ house who are eating pizza and telling you, “Everything is going to be ok”.
• You could steal a street sign in a golf cart and drive around jousting trash cans all night.
• You could find a receipt for a hotel room in the sock you wore last night and realize that that is probably where your dog is.
• You could look up at your friend, mid-puke, and ask if it is your turn to sing.
• You could promise the taxi driver that you will name your first born son after him as long as he smokes with you
• On Thanksgiving, your grandparents could find you passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
• You could get tied up and be a nuisance to your friends who have to come break into some girl's house to cut you lose…again.
• You could text your high school English teacher and ask her to tell you what logical fallacies she taught you three years ago.
• You might have to apologize to your friend for trying to give her your dressers last night, and make sure you got all the drawers back out of her car.
• You asking if you can motorboat a girl and if it could somehow turn into the two of you going on a sunset cruise in Newport at 3 am.
• You could be confused as to why your bra ended up in the aquarium
• You could find yourself begging your friend not to tell anyone that you had been a bat in another life.
• You could be licking a stick of butter that you named Jennifer.
• You could go into your friends room at 3 am and pour Monopoly money on her, crying.
• You could get tagged in a picture on Facebook with a bunch of people you don't recognize, in a house you don't recognize, wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa.
• Your night could end with everyone in tears singing along to Willenium.