There are many things that I am still learning about myself. Things that I’m sure a lot of people are still learning as well. It is difficult for many to understand who exactly they are especially at such a young age. Upon entering college, most are awoken with a sad truth: they don't know themselves as easily as they thought they did. During this time, one is entering a whole new environment and experiencing a completely new way of life. In short, your normal and routine life is getting turned upside down and for many, this can be challenging. The person the once were could change at the drop of a dime. When I experienced this I learned things about myself I had never seen before.
1. I learned just how much I really cared about what others thought.
I was so afraid of people I didn't even know thought of me that I started to become someone I was not. I was constantly worrying about what others thought of me and it crippled my ability to be happy. You don’t need the approval of someone else to be yourself. Not everyone is going to like you but that’s ok. Being who you are allows you the freedom to surround yourself with the people who help you be the best you you can be. Go out and discover the people who will like you just the way you are and don't worry a thing about what others think.
2. I have learned very quickly that I was not the party person.
It just was not for me. While others were finding every reason they could to go out and drink the night away I was content with staying home. This is OK. I promise you, you are not missing much. Now, if you never gave it a chance, maybe going out once or twice is a great idea; but don't ever feel like less of a person because it wasn't for you. There are other ways to have fun in college. Trust me.
3. Letting go is hard.
Learning how to let go of things that have a negative impact on your life can be difficult. Change is a scary thing and no one ever likes when it is thrust upon them. But we need to do everything we can to accept that things change; people, places, and moments all change and unfortunately some disappear.
4. I am not always so kind to myself.
Whenever I think of myself its never in a positive light. Constantly putting yourself down (something I often allow myself to do) is no way to live. I absolutely, positively need to learn how to gain self-confidence. This might be the hardest task but it might also be the most important. I for one have never thought of myself as someone worth anything and this is one of my biggest downfalls. Always put yourself first and have the confidence to achieve anything you set your mind to. Have trust in your abilities and own your actions.
5. I do not always say what I am thinking.
I have always been shy and tend to stray from saying what I feel. I am always afraid that I am going to offend someone or seem weird to whomever I am talking with. Writing for the odyssey has helped me express what I am feeling. It has given me an outlet for all the emotions and thoughts that are always running through my head. It has also helped me in learning how to allow people to glimpse into my brain. College is all about learning how to be a better you. When you get here, take some time to find an outlet for your voice. Where ever it may be, find it.
6. I’m still learning what hobbies interest me.
For so long I have just gone with the flow of my friends. If they were interested in painting then I would become interested in it too. I wanted to have things that we could all do together because I was never my own person. I never really had my own opinion on topics or ideas. Entering a world that forced me to be an independent and allowed me to redefine who I am, made me realize that there are endless possibilities. I am just now sorting through the files in my brain and trying to discover what I actually enjoy and what I do not. Having your own ideas and hobbies is what makes a person who they are. For so long I was a mirror of whatever my friends were. College made me realize that I want to be my own person.
7. Along the way your dreams and goals may change.
I’m learning along the way what my goals and aspirations are. My whole life I thought I wanted to be a teacher, but when the time came to go to school and pick a major I backed out. I realized that was not what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing. I wanted to do something more world wide, more towards the literature aspect of the world. As I’m discovering my career goals I’m starting to figure out my goals for the future, involving family, housing, and other aspects of life. Do not be afraid to change your major (within reason) and definitely do not be afraid to transfer or admit that something you thought you would love, is simply not for you.
8. It is hard to rely on yourself.
I’ve always hated the idea of having to go anywhere alone. I refused to go shopping by myself for the longest time because I didn’t want to seem like a "loser". Now though, I am learning to be comfortable with myself enough to do things alone. I have started taking opportunities to do things by myself and not only is it therapeutic, but it is also fun. Shopping, going to the beach, and hitting the cafe are all things I never thought I would be doing alone. You would be surprised what could happen when you stop thinking about what others think and just do something new. IT sounds crazy, but if you could start to enjoy doing things on your own, you can eventually be happy on your own as well. Learn how to depend on yourself because some days you might be the only one there.
9. Sometimes I forget to live in the moment.
I always worry about the future or things I’ve done in the past. I’m learning how to be spontaneous, open minded and grateful for everything that I have. I’m learning to actually complete the items on my bucket list rather than writing them down and leaving them without further thought. I’m learning to appreciate everything that happens in my life and the people that I have crossed paths with. I’m learning to appreciate everything that is happening now rather than in the future. Take that midnight run to Wendy's with the girl across the hall, go to that party a stranger in your class invited you too, go to a club meeting at eight o'clock at night and experience things that you may not have been allowing yourself to before.
10. I have to learn how to create my own happiness.
If there is something I don’t enjoy or like, I need to find a way to change it so that I can become happy again. Doing what everyone else is doing and going with the flow will not make you happy. If you don’t like something don’t need to force yourself to do it. If it doesn’t make you happy then it is not for you.
11. Put away the phone.
You can't enjoy the world around you through a square screen. Leaving the phone away when talking with my family and friends and do not let it be a distraction. Having my phone always in my hand is creating a barrier between me and the world around me. I’ve become so dependent on my phone that it creates anxiety within me when it’s not within reach. If you want to reduce that anxiety put the phone away! Learn to not have your phone with you 24/7. Allow youseld to see the world for what it truly is.
Time changes you. No matter who you think you are when you enter college, you will not come out the same. Surrounding yourself with new people and this huge change in your life will inevitably cause a major change in who you are.
Do not be afraid of this change. Embrace it.
