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Things That Shouldn't Affect Your Toxic Masculinity

Some fun things for everyone

Radel Huley

Sep 05, 2016

Millennials of Upstate NY

Things That Shouldn't Affect Your Toxic Masculinity

It's that time of year again, when girls get excited about pumpkin spice everything and guys make fun of the girls because girls are never allowed to enjoy anything without being judged!

Taking care of yourself or treating yourself does not make you effeminate, and even if it did, femininity is a beautiful thing. So embrace your femininity!

1. Pumpkin Spice Lattes. They're effin' good, so just shut up and drink them.

2. Holding your friend's purse. For however long, your dick will still be attached to you, I promise.

3. Chapstick. Masculinity has nothing to do with your chapped crusty lips lookin' atrocious, so fix that gross shit up.

4. Non-black coffee.

5. Wine Coolers

6. Fruity cocktails.

7. Manscaping. We already made the name have "man" in it so that you don't feel so insecure about your beloved masculinity.

8. Jewelry. Never let your manhood take the priority over glitz and glam. The glam is worth more than your fragile masculinity.

9. Good shoes. Look fresh, feel fresh.

10. Styled hair.

So take your male fragility out from where it is shoved far up your anal cavity, because we are trying to have some autumn fun and your droopy balls are ruining it. \_(ツ)_/

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Things That Shouldn't Affect Your Toxic Masculinity

Some fun things for everyone

1. Pumpkin Spice Lattes. They're effin' good, so just shut up and drink them.

2. Holding your friend's purse. For however long, your dick will still be attached to you, I promise.

3. Chapstick. Masculinity has nothing to do with your chapped crusty lips lookin' atrocious, so fix that gross shit up.

4. Non-black coffee.

5. Wine Coolers

6. Fruity cocktails.

7. Manscaping. We already made the name have "man" in it so that you don't feel so insecure about your beloved masculinity.

8. Jewelry. Never let your manhood take the priority over glitz and glam. The glam is worth more than your fragile masculinity.

9. Good shoes. Look fresh, feel fresh.

10. Styled hair.

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

It sucks, but you’ll make it through

1. Please just be seasonal allergies

2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night

3. I’ll just take a little nap

4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!

5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off

6. Do I have to be responsible today?

7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick

8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine

9. This is the worst day of my life

10. Mom?

11. She was right (like always)

12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow

13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests

14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever

15. Finally, you're better!

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

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