It’s that time of year! I’ve been thinking a lot about what I give thanks to this past year and while this hasn’t been my favorite year, I have plenty to be thankful for. Supportive family, the best friends I could ask for, the ability to go to school, my jobs, a God that never fails me. The list goes on and on. But then I thought about some of the moments in my life that maybe I wouldn’t be so thankful for. Well, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe I should be thankful for those too.

This year has been a rollercoaster of a year for me. But I have realized that I am thankful for every part of the ride, from the anxiety of climbing up the tallest hill, to the scariest drop, to all the twists and turns and not seeing which direction you’re going, to even the parts that make you a bit nauseous, I am thankful to be on this crazy ride.

Here is a list of some things that I may have taken for granted, or been too upset or angry to realize that I am thankful for:

I am thankful for friends who have strayed.

To the friends who have moved on from my life, thank you. I’m glad for the friendship we used to have but because we have gone our separate ways, I have been able to spend time on the people who are there for me in the long run. Some of you taught me what friendship is not, and others taught me that sometimes people are just temporary. Either way, you were meant to be in my life and you have taught me how to appreciate the true friends I have.

I am thankful for the people who don’t believe in me.

I am especially thankful for you. You look at me strangely when I tell you I’m a theater major and plan to do theater the rest of my life. You think, “She’s such a smart girl, why would she choose this?” You see me as indecisive and incapable because I’m working on my second college transfer. Or maybe you just flat out don’t believe I’m capable of the dreams I dream and the goals I am striving for. Well, because of you, my fight to prove you, and sometimes, my doubtful mind, are stronger. You doubt me, which makes me wonder if I should doubt me, but this just reminds me that my work and my passion are stronger than anyone’s opinion. Don’t be mistaken; your voice of disbelief will not overshadow my call to be something more than ordinary in this world.

I am thankful for boys who didn’t feel the same.

I thank you guys more than you think. You forced me to care, love, and focus on myself. I’ve never had to share my life with someone and it has taught me how to improve myself. I am so much stronger, empowered, and independent. My self-image is much more developed than others and each of you has taught me what I do and don’t look for in a relationship. Through your rejection and small insecurity at the time, I have been able to work on myself and develop an undeniable confidence and security in myself. You are largely why I am the why I am. So thank you. Thank you for not feeling the same. Thank you for teaching me more about myself and how to set, and stick to, my high standards. Thank you for giving me the time to work on me and be the person I am today.

I am thankful for things that didn’t go my way.

God is so funny. He’s probably the funniest comedian I know. You could be the smartest, most proactive, organized person on Earth and God will still find a way for your plans to not go as planned. But each time God strayed me from the path I set, he showed me a new one that led me to new, better things. He’s led me through paths that I couldn’t tell where I was going and even through dark places where I didn’t know if I would ever get out. But He has never let me down. He will never let you stray from the path He has set and sometimes that means sacrificing the path we have set for ourselves. So to every plan gone wrong, every decision that didn’t go how I wanted it to, and every single thing that didn’t go my way, I am thankful that you have led me closer to the path I am meant to be on.

I am thankful for my loved ones who passed away.

This year I went through some really tough deaths of people very close to me. I lost both of my grandfathers within 6 months of each other. Both were very strong figures in my life. My grandpa that passed first got sick unsuspectedly that eventually led to death within a few months. Looking back, no one knew that he would get so bad so quickly. I learned that life is more unpredictable than I had imagined. The other one was my grandpa, my neighbor, and my godfather and he and I had a very close relationship. When he was sick, there were several times I wondered how I could live without him. He had always been there through everything in my life. As time passed, and the sicker he got, I began to put my selfish feelings aside. This person I love was suffering. It got to where I just didn’t want him to be in pain anymore. I learned how to love and give everything I could while I could and to let go when it was time. I have always had a fear of death, a fear of watching people go. But losing two such important people in my life taught me how to begin to accept the concept of death and challenge my fear. I miss them both dearly and I am thankful for their love and the lessons they taught me.

I am thankful for the country I live in.

I will be honest, this country right now is a hot mess. We are going through a major transition, one that at first deeply frightened me. I was angry and upset and wondered how this great country could come to such a conclusion. But we are so young. This country is one of the youngest countries in the world and we have so much to learn. We are seen as such a super power but we have a lot of learning and improving to do. I see this time in our country’s timeline as a time of reflection. Our country is at odds with each other and the hatred that has been hidden and shoved away for years has come out. America is airing out its problems, and while right now it is causing disagreements, arguments, and animosity, we must realize this is the only way to solve the issues. We must identify the issues before we can fix them. Sometimes we have to fall apart so that we can learn how to rebuild to become better. This is America’s time to recognize its flaws and learn how to effectively fix them. And even through this rough transition, we will be better for it.

Some of the most difficult events and situations in our lives shape us to become the people we are meant to be. So this Thanksgiving, be thankful for not just the obvious good things but for every hardship, heartbreak, and painful situation that has made you stronger, better, and improve as a person. Be thankful for the person you are because there are plenty of people out there who are thankful for the person you have become.