Getting engaged recently, I have really been thinking about what makes a relationship work. Any relationship with the goal of a good and healthy marriage. Because of these thoughts, I have done a mini experiment via Facebook with my friends and family. I asked just one simple question to those who had been married, or with their partner, for 10 plus years: “What would you say are the three most important things needed to make a marriage/relationship work?” I expected to find a variety of responses, and I did, but not as many as I thought I would. Here are 14 responses that I received.

1. Communication

This was number one, by a long shot. Almost everyone that replied said communication is definitely one of the most important. I mean, you do have to talk to your partner on a daily basis, and if you can actually talk about meaningful stuff, it tends to work even better.

2. Trust

Of course, you have to trust what your partner is trying to communicate with you.

3. Humor

This aspect through me off. I really didn't expect humor to be so important to so many people that it would be in the top three. I definitely think it's important because you can't be serious all the time.

4. Patience

Patience was often paired with 'tolerance' when people responded. Patience is probably one of the hardest to accomplish, but it is definitely important.

5. Love/Affection

To me, this seemed to be a no-brainer at first. I mean, everyone that I had asked had at least been in a relationship for 10 years, most had been married for that long, so why wouldn't there be love? But then I realized that many people wanted to not just know that they were loved, but they want to feel or see their partner's love.

6. Faith in God

I had quite a few loved ones say that you can't truly love your partner to your fullest unless your have God in your marriage. Many might disagree, but it's deemed an important tribute of making the marriage work.

7. Honesty

Being honest with your partner is important because once your start lying, your partner can't trust you anymore. I feel like honesty really ties in with a lot of other things, like communication and trust and a few others we haven't mentioned yet.

8. Time

To me, this one stood out more than most, even though it's towards the bottom of the list. I had a few people tell me that you have to set time aside to have some alone time with your partner. This just helps the both of you to catch up. One person even told me to keep treating each other like your 'dating.'

9. Hard Work

I had a couple of people say this one. It's not easy being a long-term relationship or marriage. It takes a lot of hard work to keep a relationship going.

10. Forgiveness

It's important to realize that when your partner does mess up or make you angry, that you forgive him or her. It's also nice to know that if you were to ever do anything wrong, that you know your significant other would be willing to forgive you, too.

11. Physical Attraction

Even though only one person said this was one of the most important things to make a marriage/relationship work, I still found it very important. I mean, how can you feel any of those lovey feelings if just looking at your partner turns you off? It's not all about being physically attracted to your S.O., but it is needed on some level.

12. Selflessness

Human beings tend to be very selfish in nature. But when you're in love, and trying to make things work, it's super important to also keep the other person's wants and needs in mind. And being selfless every once in a while will lead you to the next important thing to make things work: compromise.

13. Compromise

Compromise and selflessness are different, but they definitely go hand-in-hand. Sometimes, you just have to give up the concert to spend a night with your partner's family. Or you have to not go on a huge shopping spree so you can help your spouse save up for that vacation he wants. Compromise is all about listening to your person and coming to a solution that is good for the both of you.

14. Faithful

It's easy to notice someone's attractive. They may have "those eyes" or "that butt," but you know you will keep your distance because you owe it to your partner. You and your partner have worked so hard to get to this point in your relationship. Is it really OK to just throw it away for some fling with the pool boy? Or that cute waitress?

Roughly 20 people and 14 different "most important" aspects of marriage. Maybe some are more important than others, or maybe they are all equally important. Either way, these are definitely some words for you and your partner to think about when working on your relationship.